Giving up old habits
by Kuu.ish
Summary: Haru's tired of getting rejected and hurt. He wants to stop living up to the expectations of his curse. There is only so much he can take before the darkness inside wins over. HaruxKyo
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

* * *

Haru knocked on the door and waited patiently for someone to answer. He was actually pretty proud of himself today, he only got lost once on the way to Shigures, which meant it didn't take as long as it usually did. He thought he was actually beginning to get the hang of his surroundings, even though he'd been around them his whole life.

"Haru, what are you doing here?" Came a voice from the, now, open doorway. Haru looked up and locked eyes with the rat, who was giving him a curious and agitated look.

_'So sorry to waste your precious time.' _Haru thought somewhat bitterly, deciding to ignore his cousin with his stupid superiority complex.

He'd long since gotten to a point where he just wanted to give up on him, although every once in a while he would do something out of no where by just habit, like greet him before anyone else, or randomly latch onto his sleeve when he approached.

They really were nasty habits.

_'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.' With that quiet voice, words so sharp they cut in to him._

"Is anyone in there?" A droll tone dripping with sarcasm.

Haru blinked as he saw a hand wave in front of his face and looked at the boy standing impatiently in front of him.

What was he gonna do, just stand there quietly until he left?

Some host.

If he wanted him to leave all he had to do was say so. Not that he'd actually leave. It wasn't as if he came here specifically for the rat.

He had to get away.. From there.

The boy in front of him was pretty well practiced in hiding his feelings, but in other instances he didn't mind outwardly showing what was on his mind. Like when he was annoyed or feeling burdened by someone else.

Well, it wasn't like he was the only one with problems.

Yuki and Tohru had grown pretty close since she moved in.. It's not like he was jealous though, he got treated the exact same way he did before she showed up, Yuki was just better at displaying it now..

He never seemed to mind, though.

After all, until recently he'd always accepted the treatement because the benefit was, he had the attention he yearned for.. Though, even for someone as thick-headed and seemingly thick-skinned as him, the blunt and sometimes scathing rejections, even though he didn't put in much effort, still stung a little.

He was beginning to feel almost like he was a pin cushion.. It may not have looked it, but everytime he was looked down on, dismissed, underestimated.. It was like pushing another one of those sharp needles through him.

Eventually you run out of room.

But he was still the stupidly devoted and easily fooled cow of the zodiac, being raised with the story burned into his memory seemed to build who he was. Disgustingly loyal to the rat, even when he was laughed upon and called gullible. But, no one deserved that, no matter who they were.

At least that's what he'd begun to think. He'd never done anything remotely mean or harmful toward Yuki and yet he had been immediately cast off by his stand offish attitude.

With effort, he'd tried to change the way he'd had himself programmed for most of his life. Yuki had won his affections for a few kind words when they were children, but now it was hard to remember that it even happened. Did the older male carry himself with his role in the zodiac in mind? He'd never thought to ask.

Or maybe his priorities had changed once he managed to escape from the main house.

'_This family.. This curse. You may think this is a bond, but it's just a shackle...' _

"Well..?" Yuki asked, tapping his foot impatiently. Blank gray eyes glanced down at the gesture and back up again.

"Eh, I guess I zoned out." Haru smiled sheepishly. Yuki rolled his eyes.

"Where's the surprise in that." He glanced at his watch. "And it's just passed 12, did you leave really early this morning or did you actually not get lost today?" He asked in a skeptical tone.

Haru arched a brow, had he not realized Yuki was this rude all this time? He'd been blissfully ignorant, or maybe it was a hint of masochism.

Changing the subject.

"You know, it's pretty hot out here, may I?" He asked, but didn't wait for an answer, the darker side of his mood edging it's way into his demeanor.

He stepped passed his slightly shorter cousin and into the welcoming coolness of the house. He headed straight for the kitchen, since he knew that's probably where Tohru was located. Not to mention the fact that he could hear the dishes hitting against each other as they were being washed in the sink.

"Hey Tohru." He deadpanned as he walked into the room. Tohru whipped around at the voice a dish and a wash cloth in each hand.

"Hatsuharu! Hi, it's been a while." She beamed happily. "I'm so happy you could stop by." Her pleasure was so genuine, you almost couldn't help but get the fuzzy feeling that made you want to smile.

Haru nodded and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. What else was he supposed to do?

Jumping up and down and squealing happily just didn't seem appropriate for someone like him.

All in all, he enjoyed being in Tohru's presence, in his opinion, her being a part of their psuedo family had made a pretty big change, and for the better in most cases.

'_It's only a matter of time before the illusion of happiness is shattered. There's no such thing as happiness here, don't be a fool.'_

He'd thought getting away from the main house would be good for him, but he didn't really feel that ecstatic to be there, either..

Yuki entered the room with a disgruntled expression, obviously annoyed that someone dared to ill-treat the precious prince. The look on his face was a sight to behold. It made Haru want to gag.

Actually. He did gag.

"Are you okay?" Tohru asked worriedly, catching herself just before she touched him, realizing that her hands were covered in dish soap and dripping with water. She squeaked and moved to hover over the sink again.

Haru gave a small humorless chuckle, oh he was just too funny sometimes.

Yuki grunted and gave him a condescending look.

"I didn't know it was possible to choke on air." He scoffed.

The sarcastic comment went ignored. He adjusted his weight slightly where the counter was digging in to his lower back and glanced around like he was looking for somene.

"Where's Shigure?" He asked boredly.

"I don't know." Yuki answered.

"And Kyo?"

"I don't care." The rat stated coldly. Haru furrowed his brows.

Felt another little tick of patience withering away.

"You're seeming particularly bastardly today." Haru pointed out, as if it were a fact.

Yuki frowned at him, the look on his usually pretty face said _'who are you to talk'? _He opened his mouth to say something, and judging by the way his eyebrows knitted, it was going to be something that he didn't want to hear. He just held up a hand as he pushed away from where he was leaning with the other.

"Forget it, I'm getting out of your hair." He muttered. His hands found their way into his pockets. He glanced briefly over his slightly hunched shoulders at Tohru and mumbled his goodbyes. He heard her reply and knew she was waving at him without even having to turn around to see it with his eyes.

* * *

Haru shoved his hands back into his pockets once he was outside. Whether he noticed it or not, he'd gone in the front door and out the back. His intention was to go home from here. He glared at the ground as he walked without really realizing it.

His mood was way off. He just couldn't get himself out of the dark place he'd fallen in to.

_'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.'_

_Dark, piercing eyes seemed to bore in to him, pained.. Sad. Of course, he knew she didn't mean those words. But it still hurt. It was probably better off this way. _

He sighed deeply, changing his thoughts back to Yuki. Why was he acting so cold? Being like that towards Shigure was understandable since he was a obsessive compulsive pervert.

He had no reason to be like that toward Kyo, other then the fact that he was the cat of the zodiac and Yuki was the rat.

Once again, living up to the role assigned from birth.

Trash. The ox caught himself roughly kicking at the ground at the thought.

Since it was the rat who decieved the cat, it's like they were meant to hate each other from birth. They'd always had one of those rough around the edges relationships. And him, because he was what, annoying? Stupid? Well, perhaps he was born to be used by the rat, just like in the stories?

Like hell.

Being Sohma's, almost all of them had had confrontations that left scars. But they were still a family, right? Even if it was a dysfunctional one. But, comparing their family to another, perhaps he wasn't even sure what a real family was.

What he felt was frustration.

A part of him still wanted to blame Yuki, and it had nothing to do with the zodiac, or the banquet. It was beyond having to do with Yuki being the rat and him being the cow, though it had surely stemmed from that.

After all, he'd blamed and hated Yuki for his hardships as a child, and Yuki had convinced him that it had only been because that's how he saw it himself.

He'd seen himself in a new light, and that light had also shone on his cousin, who he'd practically attached himself to. Felt he could talk to. But now, it felt like that attachment was making him sink more and more into himself. He'd loved Yuki.

He'd loved Rin.

_'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.'_

He shoved his fingers through his messy white hair as he stopped walking and looked around for a moment.

"Shit." He muttered. He must have taken a wrong turn..Or something, because he had no idea where he was.

"This sucks." He mumbled and he started walking again. He'd wanted to get out anyway. He could just walk around for a while instead of going straight home and brooding in his room. At least it was a nice day out. Haru glanced to the side for a moment, hearing something in the distance.

It sounded like dogs barking...

Curiosity won in the end as he walked in the direction of the sounds. Haru looked around curiously as he walked. Somehow he'd ended up in some wierd park he'd never seen before in his life.

He just hoped he wasn't so lost that he wouldn't be able to find his way back tonight..

When he finally reached the spot the barking was coming from, he saw about 3 dogs crowded around the base of a tree. Obviously trying to get to whatever it was that was up there. Haru glared at the dogs. He found himself thinking Yuki being a dog would make more sense then him being a rat. Snapping at the bit at the smallest thing.

"Get out of here you mutts." Haru scolded, nudging one of the dogs with his foot. The dogs quickly turned and ran with their tails between their legs.

Satisfied, Haru turned to see what they were after.

'_A cat.' _He thought. But the cat didn't move once the dogs were gone. 'Is it hurt?' He wondered, slightly alarmed.

He pulled himself up on one of the lower branches so he could get a closer look at the feline. It was just sleeping. It must've been up there for quite a while.

Haru reached out and touched the feline, noticing how dishevelled and covered in dirt it was. But, as soon as his hand came in contact with the dozing neko it jumped up, it's hair standing on end.

"WHAT THE HELL! DONT SNEAK UP ON PEOPLE LIKE THAT!" The cat screeched.

Haru blanched at the loud outburst.

"Kyo..?" He asked incredulously. The cat studied him for a minute then relaxed, realizing he wasn't in any immediate danger. Suddenly he wasn't as poofy, and he sat back on his haunches.

"Uh. What's up? I couldn't even tell it was you." He stated, picking up the cat so they could get out of the tree. Fortunately for the usually tan skinned redhead, he wasn't just any good sumaritan that passed by. If he was, he'd be in a bind to figure out a way to explain why a cat was screaming at the top of his lungs like it were a human.

Kyo snorted, or tried to at least, it was hard for cats to snort.

"Is this your hobby? Going around saving poor helpless cats that are stuck in trees?" He asked sarcastically, allowing himself to be picked up. Haru gave him an amused half-grin and shook his head, the smile fading quickly.

"Nope, actually it was by luck that I showed up here." He was actually a little relieved to find some conversation. "What happened anyway?" He asked as he took a seat on a nearby bench with the little cat beside him.

"I was just laying out, since it was a nice day." He stated stubbornly. "But then those damn dogs suddenly showed up." He explained. Haru arched a brow as he comtemplated the cats story.

"I see, but that doesn't explain why you transformed." He said thoughtfully. Kyo was silent for a moment, as if he were deciding if he was going to answer or not.

"I don't wanna talk about it." He muttered embarassedly. "Dogs suck." Maybe it was the whole being cursed with the spirit of the cat thing. If cat's could blush he'd probably be as red as a tomato. Haru chuckled at the nekos admittance.

"What's so damn funny?" Kyo growled, batting the cows hand with his paws in a vague attempt to act intimidating.

"Nothing, nothing. It's just kind of ironic that's all. The great Kyo, afraid of a puppy?" ." He stated. "I wonder what Shigure would say?" He teased.

Ignoring the cow's statement, Kyo glared at him in contempt. "Don't you dare tell that stupid pervert about anything you saw here today, you got that? Besides, I could kick that wimpy dogs ass even in my cat form."

Well, that was partly true.

The hard decision was, which would be more amusing. "Your secret is safe with me." He finally said, eyes gray eyes were unreadable, and from what he could read of the orange cats face, he wasn't very convinced.

But then again, who can tell what a cat is thinking?

"You're dead if you spill." He warned.

Somehow it wasn't very convincing coming from a cat that looked like he'd been rolled through mud. Haru sighed and scratched the neko behind the ears. The small cat shook his head, as if he'd gotten water in his ears. Kyo was never the cuddly type, feline or not.

"I know." Haru replied boredly.

The ox's demeanor seemed to suddenly change. Kind of like the energy had just left him with the wind.

The neko watched as Haru leaned back on the bench, tilting his head to look up at the sky. He could even say that he liked being in the white haired teens presence when the other wasn't nagging him for a fight or anything else stupid.

In a way, it was comforting. But he'd never actually seen Haru depressed before, if this is what this was. The last time he was sad...He went Black and tore one of the class rooms at school to shreds...

"Whatever is bothering you, don't sweat it." He stated, hoping to give the cow a little bit of assurance, though the awkwardness kind of hung in the air. Haru snorted, giving the cat a smirk.

'_You knew it well, didn't you? That it would end up like this. And yet you still dared to try. You made me do this!'_

"You think so?" He asked skeptically, closing his eyes.

"Of course I don't, stupid!" He snapped, glaring as hard as a cat can glare. He wasn't a damn mind reader! Judging by the others expression, he didn't seem very offended by it.

"I guess I really am just the stupid cow, huh? I wonder if I'll always be walking around with that rat on my head." His lips tilted up slightly, but there was something about the small smile on his lips that was anything but happy.

Damn, had he just made it worse? He took a small step closer, his slitted eyes on his cousin. He'd been about to say something when Haru pushed himself up. With him being in cat form, Haru seemed to loom over him even more-so than normal.

"I'll go find your clothes, you'll probably change back soon." He stated, and as if he already knew what was next, he said: "I can do it myself, so just stay here and try not to attract too much attention." and with that, he turned and walked in the general direction where he had been in the tree.

Kyo watched as the cow walked away and disappeared behind the shrubbery.

He hadn't known what to say. Well, he was the last person someone would go to for words of encouragement or whatever.

If you wanted a good ass kicking, or an insult to get you fired up.. He was your man.

He knew Haru well enough that his blankness and placid attitude was normal. But, just now it was like he'd been shown a new side of Haru he'd never seen before, a sad and complicated side that hadn't existed until now.

Which could possibly be worrisome.

* * *

And, like Haru had predicted, he transformed back a few minutes later, just as Haru returned with his clothes. He was covered in dirt, but he hadn't seemed to care as he put his clothes back on. He could just take a shower when he got home.

Haru had had the decency to turn his back, his arms crossed over his chest as if he were guarding his nakedness from onlookers.

But there was no one around.

When he was done, the younger of the two glanced at him. Was he supposed to thank him, or something?

"Well. I gotta get home. See you." Haru stated, not bothering to offer the dirty redhead a smile and turned to walk away, waving casually as he did.

He let his arms fall limply as his sides as he walked. A strong grip on his wrist both surprised and stopped him in his tracks.

"Uh.." Kyo looked like he didn't even know what he was doing when the cow glanced back at him questioningly.

"The main house is that way." He pointed in the direction that the other wasn't going. He didn't let go right away, and Haru just continued to stare at him, which seemed to make him more and more uncomfortable.

"And cheer up or something, just being around you is depressing." He grouched, letting go of the others pale wrist and scratching at his red hair. He didn't make eye contact.

"Heh.. I'm trying." Haru replied, giving the other a small tilt of his lips even though Kyo was blatantly not looking.

The older teen was acting annoyed, but he knew what the gesture had really meant. The cat was just rash and it was basically impossible for him to say something polite without following it up with a glare or an insult. But they were so half-hearted that it was almost touching.

Kyo turned to scowl at him. "If you need to bitch a little, that's fine, ya know?" He muttered and fidgetted. His brows furrowed a little as if he were thinking about something, then he met Haru's eyes again.

"So if you need to, you can just come to me, okay?" He practically hollered it. Was he offering a shoulder, or what?

He was obviously a little uncomfortable and probably more embarassed than anything. Damn, the only person he stuck himself out for was Tohru up until now.

But there had been something about the other that he couldn't just leave alone as it was.

The cows expression seemed to soften just a bit, almost unnoticeably. He felt the corners of his mouth tug upward a bit at the thought, though it felt a little strained. This feeling, it was.. Refreshing. He almost felt like some of the weight had been lifted from his shoulders, though something still lingered threateningly.

He'd lost something important, after all, and it had left a big empty spot in it's wake.

* * *

'_You knew it well, didn't you? That it would end up like this'_

_'I didn't have a choice, it's your fault this happened. Because you dared to say you liked her.' _

_'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.'_

* * *

He realized that he didn't give Kyo the recognition he deserved in his position. He got his fair share of mental abuse, being born into a role that had him labelled as a monster and shunned.

But Kyo seemed to take it in stride, and it was an underlying strength that he almost wished he possessed from the beginning.

The strength to tough it out on his own.

Then there would be no need for this pain in his chest. The cold feeling of suddenly being alone.

Depsite his short temper and lack of patience, he knew his cousin was a good person and cared for those around him in his own way. He had his pride, and wasn't willing to give up things so easily, unlike him. He had his goals, and his sense of right and wrongs.

"Thanks." He murmured, studying the scowling neko for a moment before giving a shrug mostly to himself and pushing his hands into the pockets of his pants for the umpteenth time that day.

He began to turn and paused midway, his eyes lingering on the tanned teenager for a few heartbeats. They seemed almost insightful. "Don't ever change the way you are, alright?" He said before turning and heading the the direction Kyo had pointed him in and leaving the baffled redhead behind.

Kyo walked into the house after the trek home without a noise and walked upstairs, only to find it empty. He went back downstairs and headed to the kitchen, where he saw Tohru cooking an early dinner and Yuki standing by the counter.

"Hi Kyo-kun, how has your day been so far?" Tohru asked happily, as Yuki glanced up. He didn't have to say anything out loud, his expression was enough.

"Look what the cat dragged in." Displeasure was the understatement of that tone.

"What happened Kyo-kun?" It was Tohru asking, obviously alarmed at his appearance. But since when was it a big surprise to see him covered in dirt, or something?

Something about the distaste on Yuki's face just sat wrong with him. Ignoring the girl, Kyo stalked over to the rat, who didn't seem the least bit worried, and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and proceeded to slam his fist into the side of the rats face.

He was actually still for a few surprised seconds because he hadn't thought he'd manage to hit him. The slight throb in his hand said otherwise.

Yuki stumbled a little when he was abruptly let go, and gave the cat a shocked and angry glare. "What the hell was that for? Punching me all of the sudden!" He demanded. Kyo turned and headed out of the kitchen, rubbing his knuckles with his other hand.

"That's for being such a bastard." He said, just assuming that some part of this was the assholes fault. He headed upstairs so he could look at the clouds from the roof, but one glance at himself reminded him of how grimy he was. Shower first, and then the roof.

Yuki just watched as he left, reaching up to rub his now bruising cheek with his hand.

That was the second time he got called a bastard today..

* * *

TBC.


	2. Chapter 2

Kuu: Hey folks. Wanted to say thanks to those who have newly favorited this story or added it to your alerts. I'd say that's motivation enough but getting at least 1 review would totally make me feel like continuing is worth it.

SO PLEASE REVIEW AFTER YOU READ! - Even if it's a flame, I like to know if my writing sucks or if whatever I'm doing with this story is unsatisfying. (Because i really just make it up as I go, lol). I tend to take opinions and advice pretty readily when it comes to writing. :s

Also, since I make alot of implications and there is cursing and all that good stuff, I made this story M.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Haru blinked from where he was on his back on the cold floor. He had a moment of being disoriented, his eyes refocusing, attemping to take in and register the rows of florescent lights that lined the hallway and glared off of the row of lockers that was nearby. It even took him a moment to realize that Kyo was on top of him, looking like he'd managed to catch himself just before he intended to knock his lights out.

He didn't look happy.

"Kyo." He said, impassive. "I thought you were going to the roof?"

The redheads face was flushed. He scowled and looked like maybe he'd go ahead of sock him one since he was already there, but instead he got up and brushed himself off as if he were dirty. He was mumbling something inaudible under his breath as he jerkily straightened himself out. The ox was able to push himself up onto his elbows, finally seeing Yuki standing a little behind Kyo. His brows were slightly furrowed and his clothes were also a little rumpled.

"Are you okay?" The rat asked, managing to look both confused and a little worried. For some reason he had a feeling that it had nothing to do with the fact that Kyo had been about to punch his face in.

* * *

..Earlier that day..

* * *

Haru was standing idly in the hallway of the school, ignoring most of the students that went bustling by, but managing to be aware enough not to stand in a way that might cause an accident that would leave people wondering why there was a cow in the middle of a school building.

Usually in the mornings, Momiji and himself would go to the other side of the building to see Tohru for Momiji, and Yuki for him.

Lately, he felt he was better off by himself then getting annoyed at trivial things. But it still happened.

He just wasn't up for pretending anymore.

He'd learned yesterday that being around the other didn't calm the storm inside of him like he'd hoped for.

"There you are, I was looking for you." Momiji came skipping up.

The short, child-like blonde was still up to his usual antics, wearing a girls uniform with shorts instead of the skirt, even despite the confrontation they'd had with someone from the disciplinary committee.

But since then, they hadn't seemed to bother either of them much. Probably because the last time, he'd lost his temper and intimidated the guy.

Oh, and let's not forget the possible sexual harassment.

He was wearing his usual, too. The white summer uniform with the sleeves rolled up and black slacks with a single chain that was attached to something that disappeared into his back pocket.

He also had the usual jewelry on. Two studded earrings in one ear, two studs and a single hoop in the other. Around his neck he had a black choker that looked more like a collar than anything and a long black necklace stringed together with small beads disappeared into the open collar of his unform.

Outwardly, he fit the bill perfectly for being a delinquent. His hair just topped it off.

"I'm right here." He replied boredly. He started walking down the hall at a leisurely pace, it made it easier for Momiji to keep up without having to outright jog.

"I wanted to find you earlier. Did you study for that test? I wrote out some notes for you, just in case so-"

"I don't need your notes, Momiji." Haru interrupted, he sounded stern but not necessarily angry.

Kind of like a mild warning.

He was directionally challenged, not mentally crippled.

Know the difference.

'_It's because you act this way that you've become a laughing stock' Akito's drawled with a sadistic smile, fingers caressing the cows cheek with a softness that felt unnatural._

"I know it just fine and I can pass the stupid test on my own." He'd almost forgotten his irritation with the blonde for something similar he'd done the day before over something so trivial he usually would haven't batted an eyelash, but once again it reared its ugly head.

'_Just leave it alone, Momiji. I'm not an idiot.' Haru had suddenly snapped at the blonde, which didn't happen very often. The bunny looked shocked, like a scolded puppy._

_'I- I just wanted to help..'_

It wasn't because he was trying to help him, but because he seemed so positively sure that he needed it.

Momiji looked a little taken aback for a moment, but seemed skeptical. "Are you sure? You're practically failing that class."

He wasn't trying to be patronizing, but it was sure as hell hard not to take it that way.

"I'm practically 'failing' it by choice." Haru told him as he stopped walking.

Sure, it sounded sarcastic, but was he being serious? He looked down at the other. Honestly, he didn't believe he was incapable of being educated, did he?

"I can pass all of my classes and then some if I wanted to. I'm not stupid."

Damn. That even sounded defensive to _him_.

Momiji didn't look convinced, but didn't say anything about it. The blonde looked cautious, like he knew he could possibly be walking on egg shells.

"I never called you stupid, Haru."

The ox rolled his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"You don't have to directly say it, you know. When you look at me like that, and try to help me when I don't even fucking need it is a good enough hint that you think I'm incapable of doing things for myself."

Momiji looked shocked at the taller teens observation. Maybe he hadn't even realized he'd done that.

"Oh..I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel that way." He told him seriously, managing to look like he was trying to hold back tears.

Haru knew that he meant it, too.

Momiji was just so outgoing and happy go lucky that it was like a second nature to him. They'd been together for how many years?

He'd grown so accustomed to leading him around to keep him from getting lost, whether on his own or asked to by Hatori, that even he would think there must be a reason for it.

"Tch. It's not just you. Everyone in this entire family does it. Because I'm the ox, I was automatically born with a handicap." Haru rambled, not even caring who heard him.

The blonde had started gesturing for him to lower his voice which was followed by him frantically looking around to make sure no one was listening.

"Well you know what? I'm not as dumb as you all think, and I'm not going to act the part just to meet someones shitty expectations, especially this damn familys." He announced with a scowl then turned on his heel and stalked away.

Momiji called his name, but didn't follow him.

Good, he'd taken enough of his frustration out on the rabbit, even though he didn't deserve it.

* * *

He skipped the first three periods.

He didn't even care if he got in trouble. If they said anything, he could just say he was in the infirmary or he'd gotten sick and went to the bathroom. There were plenty of logical excuses he could use to get out of punishment.

Or..He could just pull a Kyo and just say something along the lines of 'Oh..I didn't feel like going to class, so I crashed on the roof for a while.' without really thinking about the consequences.

'Yeah...I think I like the first option better..' He thought to himself. He stood up and stretched. It felt really good outside, and you could really feel the breeze from the top of the school. Shrugging off his lazyness, he opened the door and stepped into the school. Since 3rd period was over, that meant it was lunch time, which also meant his little 'vacation' was soon to be over.

Haru made his way to his locker, since he had books he needed to put up. There was no point in bringing them to lunch with him if he wasn't going to be doing any work, right?

When he got there, Kyo was leaning with his back on the locker next to his with his hands in his pockets. The ox arched a brow at said teen, but said nothing as he walked past him and opened his locker, shoving his books in place.

"Where've you been?" Kyo wondered casually.

"On the roof." Haru answered blankly, shutting the locker and crossing his arms over his chest and waiting for the redhead to say something. He remained mostly placid, but had lifted a single brow enough to pull off the '_well, I'm waiting' _look.

"Ah. Momiji was lookin' for ya." You could practically see the patience withering.

Haru snorted.

"He can look all he wants, that doesn't mean he's gonna find me." He said carelessly and walked past the cat, not waiting to see if he followed or not. Kyo blinked at the younger boys demeanor.

Did he miss something?

Did he care?

Damn.

"Yeah, well he's had us all looking for your elusive ass in between classes." Kyo told him, just to make sure that the younger teen knew that he didn't enjoy spending what little breaks he had playing hide and seek or what the hell ever.

Haru just sent him a quick glance and shrugged it off.

"So you've been skipping up until now?"

"Uh oh, captain obvious strikes again." Haru muttered sarcastically. He could have sworn he saw the other bristle at the comment.

Oh that was right, Kyo only liked sarcasm when he was the one using it.

"So you're avoiding him, then?" Kyo asked a few moments later, sounding like he didn't really care but may as well ask for curiosities sake.

Well they did say that curiosity killed the cat, though this particular information wasn't lethal. He was still trailing behind him by about one or two steps.

"Not really."

_'I don't need you anymore. I'm tired of you.'_

"Really? It sure seems like you are."

"Whatever." Haru muttered, walking without glancing at the other. He was getting tired of his cat and mouse bullshit already.

_'We can never be happy, this curse will never let us. It's time to move on.'_

"So that's it then? You're just gonna act broody and pissy? Kind of reminds me of Yuki whe-oof!"

The sound of Kyo's back slamming against a row of lockers echoed down the hallway.

Fortunately they were in one of the more deserted wings of the school, and anyone who would have been there was at lunch.

If the redhead was shocked by the ox's sudden reaction, he didn't show it. He just remained where Haru held him with a blank look on his face instead of the immediate scowl that he'd usually have.

Perhaps he'd been expecting this kind of reaction? He'd been baiting him?

"You wanna fight?" Haru asked. There was something in his tone, almost like he was itching for the other to say yes.

"Do you?" Came the reply.

A simple question, no bark and no bite.

Somehow, the way the other teen was acting bothered him. Like maybe he wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. After all, Kyo knew that he was the better fighter of the two, but that never stopped them before. He sent a half-hearted glare at the tanned teenager and tightened his hold on the collar of his shirt.

"What do you want from me, Kyo?" Haru demanded with furrowed brows. Kyo sighed, as if exasperated.

_'I don't need you anymore.'_

_'We will never break these shackles.'_

"I thought that was obvious? I wanna know what's on your mind, idiot." He said, the serious and seemingly honest remark caught him off guard.

_I don't think I can handle this by myself._

Kyo was giving him that what-a-stupid-question stare, but suddenly the fight in him dwindled.

Though, the fire of his frustration hadn't burned out completely. He clenched and unclenched his jaw before letting go and stepping away from the other, whose hands had moved up automatically to straighten his dishevelled shirt.

"What's on my mind.." Everything. Nothing. "I'm sick of being underestimated and treated like a sandbag just because of some stupid old story. I'm wondering why I put up with all the shit that's constantly dished out. I wonder why we had to be born in to this family. That's what's on my mind." Haru said, his words losing their conviction toward the end.

"Join the club. You don't think I feel that way sometimes?" Kyo asked, his voice seemed quieter than usual.

But that was because Kyo usually had two volumes, loud and pissed.

"That's not what I-." Haru's shoulders slumped a little as if he'd been defeated, he turned and leaned on the lockers beside him and slid to the ground. He brought his knees up slightly to rest his elbows on and unconsciously ran a hand through his white spikes.

Of course Kyo felt that way. Maybe he'd picked the wrong person to rant at, though the older Sohma didn't seem mad or anything. Hell, he didn't even have that usual aggravated furrow in his brow that he had with.. Well, everyone.

"You're right... Sorry." He muttered almost under his breath. Kyo had moved to lean against the same row of lockers next to him, though he remained standing. His arms were crossed over his chest and he alot taller than he actually was since he was sitting on the hard tile floor.

"You good?" He heard the other ask after a minute a silence went by.

Haru blinked and glanced up at the cat, meeting Kyo's fiery eyes with his grey ones.

As if it were magic, the redheads glare was back and he pointed it down the hallway, fidgetting impatiently. "I guess." , was Haru's answer.

"Well, it's cool." Kyo drawled, pushing himself off the rows of lockers. "There's nothin' better then slamming someone around when you're feeling frustrated. Well..I guess It depends on who you're pounding.." He said, hands diving into his pockets.

Haru blinked and stared up at the redheaded boy. He realized the silence was stretching and opened his mouth to answer. "Yeah.." He said.

Kyo glanced at him again before he sighed and stretched, like a lazy cat that wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and sleep.

"Well, I'm gonna go crash on the roof." He explained through a restrained yawn. Haru looked up and nodded at not so useful piece of information, beginning to push himself to his feet as well.

"I'll tell that brat-rabbit that I didn't see you." Maybe that was Kyo's way of showing consideration to the fact that something obviously had bothered him and he knew he just wanted to be alone.

It looked like Haru had begun to open his mouth to say something back to the redhead but was cut a little short when a third person stepped up to the plate.

"Haru, there you are." It was Yuki.

His expression was a mixed between worried and troubled. Partly because they hadn't been able to find him up until this point, and now that he'd been found it seemed like he'd just been skipping class and there was no emergency.

Misplaced worry, maybe?

Though there was a little relief that it was nothing after all.

Kyo, who had been about to walk away, seemed to have noticed the slight change in the younger males demeanor because he stopped and actually backstepped.

It was small changes at first, the slight tension in his shoulders that wasn't there before. The way something menacing slipped into that unreadable expression.

What the?

The telltale signs were there, but why all of a sudden?

"We were all worried-" Yuki was starting to say.

"Yuki, wait." The redhead tried, but it was no surprise for him to be ignored.

"You know should let someone know before you disappear somewhere, we-" Yuki was explaining.

The same old lecture they gave Haru everytime he didn't keep tabs with his babysitters. Well, that was only natural to expect from someone who tended to get lost and not reappear for hours at a time.

Kyo did a facepalm, as if something troublesome had just happened.

"Who do you think you are?" Haru said, attracting his attention again.

The tall, white haired teenager was standing closer to him than he was Kyo. He had one hand hidden in the pocket of his black slacks and he was staring drolly at the fingers of his other hand as he picked at his thumbnail.

He glanced up from what he was doing that had seemed so much more interesting than what Yuki had to say and the hard but cold grey eyes of the other were unmistakable.

"I don't take directions from you, so why don't ya stop ordering me around." He said arrogantly.

Yuki blinked at the sudden change.

"I'm not-"

"That's right, you're not." He was walking toward the other now with an air about him that promised anything but pleasantness.

Though they may look the same, the other personality that hid in Haru's conscious was probably the polar opposite of his usually laid back and impassive one.

Black Haru was everything that the everyday Haru wasn't, including things that he sometimes wanted to be. Haru was easy-going. Reserved, quiet and patient. Black Haru was bold, straight forward and more violent than not. He didn't seem to have any restrictions or care about the consequences later.

"So glad we could come to an agreement." Black murmured, he was in front of Yuki now, way past the line of comfort that a normal person would draw.

Of course, stubborn as he was, the rat had refused to budge even a step. The expression on the ox's face was arctic, and only seemed to become moreso when the corner of his mouth tilted up into an amused but disturbing smirk.

Yuki's jaw was set, his expression obviously displeased.

Well, it wasn't his first encounter with his cousins other personality, either. With a measured lift of an eyebrow, the ox's hand moved up, as if to touch Yuki's face, though there was no telling what his intentions were with that expression. Yuki was resisting the urge to bat him away when a tanned hand appeared on the cows shoulder.

" Oi, back off." Kyo demanded, pulling the taller male back none too gently, which resulted in the unstable male turning away from Yuki, toward him.

He wasn't sure what the hell this idiot kid planned to do, but he didn't want to find out with the kind of face he'd been making.

It gave him goosebumps, and not in a good way.

Judging by Haru's expression, he wasn't pleased at the interruption, but that irritation seemed to fade away rather quickly once they locked eyes.

Almost like a predator giving up on one potential prey, for another.

"What did I just say about ordering me around?" Black Haru asked, this time he was glaring and the anger in his voice was obvious. "If Yuki can't tell me what to do, what makes you think you can?" He asked with a slight tilt of his head, his chilly gaze analytical.

As if Yuki was forgotten, he stepped closer to the redhead. Kyo, unlike that damn rat, had these things called instincts. And those instincts made him take a cautious step back as he glared wholeheartedly.

Black seemed intrigued by it.

"Or could it be you're jealous?" He asked and the redhead had a moment of looking outraged. He smirked. "Yuki gets all of the attention, and poor you, you get shoved to the back of the crowd, it's a sad story."

"Shut up." The redheads fists were balled at his sides now and his eyes looked like they were on fire.

Haru's smirk only grew.

The cat was so hotheaded, it was easier to read his expression than to point out the distinction between night and day.

"Did I make you mad, Koneko-chan?" Black chuckled.

"You wanna go?" Kyo asked, or rather growled. He was standing his ground now.

Black's smirk disappeared, which left his expression relatively indifferent, the only thing that made it seem unlike Haru's normal expression was the ominous look in those ashy colored eyes.

"Yeah, I do." He answered, his voice had gone low as his gaze seemed to take in the redheads form. Watching. Waiting for him to make the first move.

The redhead tensed, like a cat ready to pounce.

"Kyo, I don't think it's a good idea to do this here."

It was Yuki.

He apparently thought it was important enough to actually call Kyo by his name instead of the usual insult.

His eyes were on them, but would momentarily dart down the hall one way then the other to make sure no one was coming. Ever so level-headed, that Yuki. But Kyo actually hesitated.

Haru didn't say anything. He just laughed. He laughed and Kyo's eyes narrowed. Yuki's brows furrowed, obviously thinking about how to handle the situation.

Contemplating.

"I never thought I would have seen the day.." He chuckled, eyeing the redhead with his humorless gaze. "Where you'd become Yuki's loyal dog. Maybe he can even get you a cute little bell for your collar."

The hesitation Kyo had been displaying seemed to diminish and suddenly he was jerked forward by the collar of his shirt that the redhead had snatched up and then just as fast shoved backwards into the row of lockers.

The sound of his weight hitting the metal was loud in the quiet hallway. He ignored the dull pain in his shoulder where something had dug in in just the right spot.

Probably one of the many locks keeping the small doors seal.

Another chuckle fell from his lips, seemingly unfazed. The irritation in the Kyo's eyes seemed to flare into something alot hotter, which meant he'd achieved his goal in pissing the redhead off.

A tan hand slammed into the metal only inches from his head, it sounded loud enough to have left a dent behind but no one cared to look.

"What the hell is so damn funny, you punk?" Kyo growled as whatever humor there was drained from the cow's face. Black Haru's only reply was to give the cat a shove right to the center of his chest, effectively putting enough space in between them for him to push away from the row of lockers.

And the fight ensued.

As kids, and even up to this day, they knew and practiced martial arts. So there was alot of decent form, strikes and dodges. It was a fact that Kyo was better at fighting than Haru was, which was why often enough the redhead would hold back during fights that he already knew he'd win.

But not this time around, not with Black taunting and baiting him even after he managed to get a hit in.

Somewhere in the haze, Yuki's raised voice could be heard telling them to break it up already, or that they were being way too loud.

He went ignored.

The more anger that was fueled, the more messy the fight got and the more energy they used up.

Eventually they were just a couple of guys brawling it out.

Kyo threw a punch that Haru managed to block with a raised forearm. Before he could pull back for another try, the white haired male grabbed his arm and tugged which sent Kyo off balance and stumbling toward him. He took a step forward, so he could maneuver one of his feet behind one of Kyo's before using his shoulder to shove him backward.

The action was a success, effectively tripping him and sending him to the ground. It was a move that had been used on him many, many times.

He smirked.

"You look good down there." He told him, only enjoying the outraged look on Kyo's face as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

It was almost as if the forgotten third party had been waiting for the opportune time because once Kyo was down and Haru had his back turned, he felt the other grab him, arms locking around his chest to pin his arms by his sides. He tried glancing over his shoulder, though he already knew who it was.

"Haru, you need to calm down." Yuki said, pulling him back a step. His words didn't have much effect.

Of course the younger teenager struggled, trying to free his arms was harder than it looked, so he went for the next best thing. He slammed his booted heel down on the rats foot, earning him a hiss from the other as well as his freedom. Yuki stepped back, favoring the foot he'd flattened with a glare.

He didn't even have time to send him a condescending remark because Kyo had gotten to his feet and practically slammed into him.

They both fell, with him on bottom. It felt as if the air had been sucked right out of him from the compact. His opened his eyes after getting over the momentary daze to see Kyo glaring down at him, his body sitting across his waist was acting as a secondary way to keep him down.

"So you like being on top," though he was still trying to catch his breath, a smirk tugged at his lips. "I can accept that."

Kyo snatched his collar up for the second time that day and jerked him up as far as he could go while being pinned on his back. "What did you sa-?"

"You're frustrated, right? You can 'pound' me however you like." He told the redhead, purposefully using the cats own wording from earlier but in a completely different context.

"What the hell has gotten in to you?" Kyo exclaimed, resisting the urge to shake him around by his collar, or strangle him.

Why the hell had he turned anyway? Irritating situations, extreme anger, violence.. Those were things that usually triggered Black Haru, but as far as he was aware, Haru was frustrated, maybe, but not to this extent.

The change had come out of no where!

"Nothing, yet." was the drawled reply.

The tanned teenager must have caught on to the implication, or maybe it was the suggestive expression on the white haired males face but his own face seemed to turn a few extra shades of red as he let out a growl.

He forcefully let go of the ox's shirt, letting him drop back into the position he'd been in previously, letting his head thump the hard floor. He'd pulled back a fist to wipe that look from the others face but he hesitated when he saw Haru's dull grey eyes blinking and looking around for a moment before looking up at him tiredly.

"Kyo." He muttered, though his voice didn't sound particularly surprised at being in such a weird position. "I thought you were going to the roof?"

Feeling a little scandalized, he thought about hitting him anyway. But in the end he sighed inwardly and pushed himself to his feet with a huff, mumbling a few choice insults and curses about the white haired teen under his breath.

"Are you okay?"

Haru blinked slowly and looked over at Yuki, who had moved closer and was now kneeling in front of him. He glanced away from Yuki to Kyo, who's back was turned on both of them, his movements were jerky and obviously not happy.

He looked at Yuki again.

"I'm fine."

Well, theoretically he was.

He felt like he'd gotten thrown around a little, which wasn't surprised if he'd gone black. He tended to not recall whatever happens when he goes did, and due to the lack of remembrance, the soreness and the overall position he'd come back in, it was the only obvious answer.

"What happened, Haru?" Yuki asked him, putting a hand on his shoulder to grab his attention since the younger male seemed to be in a daze.

His first reaction was to shrug off the others hand.

"I don't know." He replied.

A small crease formed in his brow, as if something was bothering him. He opened his hand palm up and studied it before balling it into a fist and opening it again.

He'd been in a fight alright.

He glanced up to see Kyo looking, or rather scowling, at him. The look on his face totally gave away the fact that he felt he'd been caught sending him dirty looks when he wasn't looking.

"W-what the hell are you staring at?"

Wasn't that his question?

The redheads clothes and hair were in slight disarray, but otherwise he seemed fine. Not that he'd thought he wouldn't be. Haru shook his head and climbed to his feet, absently brushing off the front of his pants as he did so. It didn't even matter that the back of his pants were more likely to be dirty than the front.

"I'm going to go get cleaned up." He announced. Maybe he could even stop by the nurse and use it as his excuse for missing all of his other classes this morning. "Good fight, Kyo." He said, like he usually did after transitioning.

"Want us to go with you?" Yuki asked, ignoring Kyo when he grouched about being volunteered against his will.

"No, I think it's better I go alone." Haru said, barely glancing at either of them. "Sorry about that." He added as an afterthought as he pushed his hands into his pockets and walked off.

Kyo watched the younger male walk away until he disappeared around a corner.

"What do you think that was about?" Yuki asked, reminding him that he wasn't alone. He sent Yuki a look that if he was a cat, all of his hair would have probably been on in.

"He was acting a bit strangely the other day, too..."

"How the hell should I know!" He exclaimed, earning him a look from his rival. He ran a hand through his fiery hair and stalked off, cursing under his breath.

* * *

Haru made his way to the nearest bathroom, stopping in front of one of the sinks and turning on the faucet. He sighed quietly and leaned partially onto the sink, watching as the clear liquid swirled and disappeared into the drain before he ran his hands beneath the coolness.

He cupped his hands beneath the water and lowered himself enough to splash the water onto his face, not caring that his bangs got partially dampened or that water dripped onto his clothes. After grabbing a papertowel from the dispenser, he dried the moisture from his skin and glanced at himself in the mirror.

All he saw was himself. He could tell his expression seemed pensive; troubled. And that was exactly what he was: troubled, confused.

Not necessarily because of what had just happened.. But because he felt, no, he knew that this wasn't the first time that he'd suddenly changed without warning.

Of course, he usually had no memory of it, so it was hard to tell for sure without anyone witnessing it.. But there were some things that just weren't coincidence.

It had only developed in the past week or two. Just once or twice at first, but lately it had been happening more and more. It was just small things, like going to sleep in one spot, and waking up in and entirely different room all together. He'd even gone to sleep at one point, in his bedroom and woke up in his bedroom. The thing that had caught his attention was he'd gone to sleep wearing just a pair of boxers and woken up fully dressed, including shoes.

At first he'd thought nothing of it, maybe blamed it on sleepwalking. He hadn't told anyone about it, because it wasn't a big deal, he thought, and no one even noticed. But what had happened today.. They were at school. In a public place..

He was getting weak. Losing himself.

The worst part was, he wasn't sure if he cared if the blackness swallowed him.

To be continued..

* * *

I don't know about you guys, but I just love Black Haru. In my mind, he's blunt and probably a prick, and DEFINITELY a pervert. Perversion FTW! (for me at least)... Anyway, rewriting this particular chapter took me a while because i didn't know what I wanted to do, and I'm not sure what I wanna do for the next chappy either, but I think I'm gonna start having quite a bit of Black Haru in this story starting from this chapter, in case the implication wasn't there.

What do you guys think? Opinions, ideas? 3


	3. Chapter 3

I hate that I never update this stuff... I looked today and realize that this story has 91 followers? That's... Motivating, and I'm sorry to those who were interested in this story and probably lost that interest when I never updated it.

I reread the story so far myself and I was getting pretty in to it. There's nothin' more cool than reading a story that isn't that familiar and getting to the end with the knowledge that you get to choose what happens next. My first thought is sexy kyo and haru pr0n, of course -ecchipervertface- But the story must go on, I have decided. !_! If anyone has read my previous stories, then you know they tend to drift down a dark path.

* * *

Chapter 3

* * *

Kyo was scowling down in to the sink as he brushed his teeth, probably a little too jerkily to seem normal. One would think that he was punishing his poor gums.

The truth was, he was still troubled about all that happened at school the other day. Since then, the ox had been absent. He kept picturing the last image of Haru that day, with that dazed and troubled expression darkening his features.

He spit the remnants of toothpaste into the sink and turned on the faucet.

It almost seemed to be an inner conflict with himself. One part wondering why he shouldn't just drop it, the other part not being able to deny that he was concerned. The question was why? It didn't have anything to do with him directly.

But it was nagging. Had something happened? There was no way he would know, being someone who was basically outcasted from the main house where they resided.

Not to mention for a guy who was in everyone's business, he was pretty unreadable when it came to himself. Or more like, he didn't project much when it came to emotion, outside of his alter ego. Because of the curse and the way they were raised and treated, Haru had grown to have two sides... The calm, collective side... And obviously the troublemaker side that took a brunt of the damage.

Maybe his switch finally broke? Like he blew a fuse, or something. Was that repairable?

"Ergh.." He growled under his breath, jerkily turning off the water and stomping out of the bathroom.

He felt so out of character.

* * *

"You wanna repeat that again?" Some guy was saying. He was red in the face and standing far too close for comfort, and judging by his demeanor, he wasn't going for a hug.

Haru, feeling a little disoriented, blinked blankly. He didn't reply. After all, he didn't know what he said to , either.

..Again so soon?

"What, not acting so tough now, are ya punk?" The other was saying, huffing and puffing and practically spitting with every word.

It didn't take much effort to dismiss the guy with a raise of his hand and walk away without a word, leaving the guy blinking in confusion with his fists clenched at his sides yelling a hesitant "H-hey!" to his retreating back.

Habitually, his hands found their way into the pockets of the black slacks he was wearing and he felt his phone vibrate against the fingers of his right hand. When he pulled it out to glance at the screen, which was difficult to see in the sunlight he paused on the sidewalk.

The amount of missed calls was... Alot.

He glanced at the time and the jump just made him feel even more disoriented. The date was .. The wrong date.

Glancing around himself, feeling only slightly panicked and apprehensive. He'd say it looked vaguely familiar, which meant it was obviously near home or the school. He plopped down on one of the publish benches flat on his back, and glanced through the text messages.

_'Where are you'_ - Hatori

'_You're not answering your phone'_ - Hatori

Very deductive. He snorted.

_'Hatori is getting mad where did u go?_' - Momiji

Did he go home at all yesterday?

_'Are you lost? Call me.'_ -Hatori

From then on they all got pretty repetitive. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, the feeling of the warm sun against his face making the faint pounding in his head not so noticable.

* * *

"_Haru_." It was a familiar, soft but stern voice.

His soft gray eyes cracked open slowly to look at the person who was sitting on the small empty portion of the bench that he hadn't taken up with his body. He pushed himself up, meeting the beautiful dark eyes that seemed to bore in to his.

"Rin.." He said softly, with adoration and something much more saddening underneath.

She didn't return it with a warm look. Her expression remained cold and unrelenting.

'We can't do it.' She was saying, glancing down with her pale skin looking so much more pale than usual.. Her black hair falling in to her face. He reached out to brush the strands away from her brow, and her eyes met his again. A single tear trying to escape from the corner of her eye. There was a bandage hiding a mysterious wound that ran from her cheek bone to her jawline. And yet she still looked tragically beautiful.

Everything in him went cold, already knowing what the cause of it was. Who the cause of it was..

Her delicate fingers reached up to wrap around his wrist, the grip shockingly strong and as cold as ice. So cold he swear he felt it seep through his entire being, leaving him feeling.. Sad. Angry. Alone.

_'We can never be happy here'._

_'I'm tired.'_

_'Tired of you.'_

"H-Hatsuharu?" Came another soft female voice, cutting in. It sounded lighter, like the weight of the world wasn't holding it down.

A dream..

Tohru sat on the bench, apparently frozen in place. Eyes wide and her face 3 different shades of red. Haru's hand, which was extended and his finger tips barely brushing against the smooth skin just above her eyebrow as if to push her bangs aside, moved up to ruffle the hair atop her head to save her from her confusion and discomfort.

"So it's Tohru, huh." He said flatly, laying back down and folding his arms behind his head.

Silence ensued while Tohru continued to silently sit by his side and he continued to ignore her out of what would seem, disinterest.

"Were you dreaming of something before?" She finally asked hesitantly, "You looked very sad." Apparently that was what she had observed. All of the emotions that swirled around in him seemed alot more severe than sadness.

tick.

His answer was silence, but that didn't seem to dissuade the young brunette. One of her charms, most would say.

"If you want to talk about it-"

tick.

"Not interested." He sat up and pushed himself up from the bench, intent on relocating himself. But he wasn't surprised to here the soft patter of footsteps behind him.

tick.

"But m-maybe-"

tock.

He swirled around, which apparently startled her because she jumped.

"Maybe what?" He asked. Or rather snapped, taking a step as he did so. She apparently wasn't as dense as they gave her credit for, because she reflexively took a step back.

"Maybe I can tell you my life story? "

One step.

"So you can pretend to understand and care..?"

Another step.

"You'll pat me on the back and tell me everything is going to be okay..?"

Another step.

"And then you'll bat your eyelashes and twirl your hair around your finger and everyone will go all doe-eyed and live happily every after? Don't give me that bull shit, do I look like Yuki to you? This is real life, princess."

There was no where else for the long haired girl to go, having backed herself into a corner. She started and glanced over her shoulder at the solid wall that was there before looking back at the taller male in front of her.

He stared down at her, but it only felt like he was looking right through her.

"That's it? What a joke.." He said coldly.

Her lips parted and closed. She was at a loss and for a moment she looked crushed. Completely battered by his harsh, accusing words.

"I..." She gathered herself for a moment. "I just want to do what I can to help.."

The ox regarded her coolly for a moment, his stony gaze making her fidget.

"I know one way you can help me." He said quietly, his fingers moving up to run along the length of a lock of brown hair that hung loosely from the yellow ribbon in her hair. Once he reached the end, they moved to tracing the collar the of medium cut shirt she was wearing.

She didn't flinch or push him away, but stared at him with those wide eyes. Full of such innocence. So naive and eager to jump in and take on someone else's problems regardless of whether or not there's a benefit in it for her. Somehow he felt disgusted.

"How fucking chivalrous." He said, unimpressed. "Go home already." He ordered, pushing away from the girl and walking in the opposite direction without looking back to see Tohru's knees buckle under the sudden loss of tension. She didn't follow him, to say the least.

* * *

"-seen him at all?" Shigure's voice got more clear as she moved from the living room into the kitchen.

"Tori says he never came home from school." He seemed exasperated. Yuki had a troubled expression. Kyo was leaning against the railing on the stairs, like he'd stopped himself in the middle of coming down from his room. His expression showed a mix of frustration and concern. They glanced at her when she shuffled in.

"Something is wrong." Tohru said quietly, setting the small grocery bag on the counter top, which was the whole reason she'd been out and happened to pass the sleeping ox. That expression of such built up contempt and the lack of emotion in his gaze. It was haunting.

"You're right. Haru is missing." Shigure pointed out.

She shook her head at the statement, looking down at her hands that were gripping the edge of the counter through her bangs. "There is something wrong with him.. Something horribly wrong." Her voice was slowly getting thick with emotion, which was alarming for the frail girl.

"What do you mean? More importantly, did you see Haru just now?" The dog asked, tilting his head to try for a better look at his flower, but there was a curtain of hair covering her face.

"Did he do something to you, Miss Honda?" Yuki demanded, coming up on her other side. Tohru looked at him with wide eyes, barely suppressing tears when she recalled the confrontation.. To be so dismissive and cruel..

"H-he's not Hatsuharu." She hiccupped, thinking of the quietly considerate ox she knew that never hesitated to listen with a small spaced out smile when she was rambling. Or the protective brother figure that searched high and low when Kisa was hiding and sighed in utter relief when he found her even though all he got in the end was a sharp bite.

Yuki's hands were on her shoulders, concern etching his features. Haru had definitely been strange lately, but to lay a hand on Tohru?

"I couldn't do anything." She said, the guilt she felt over the situation was drawn all over her face, even though she didn't even know what was going on.. just that it felt wrong to see one of her close friends with that kind if expression. It hurt.

She opened her mouth to speak as a tear managed to squeeze its way out when large towel flopped over her head, thanks to a certain ill-mannered redhead.

"What do you think you are, a super hero? Give me a break..." His voice was drifting off, she realized when she peeked out from beneath the towel, because the cat was walking out of the room. She sniffed and took a deep breath, knowing that was Kyo's own awkward way of trying to console her and tell her that it'd work out in the end.

She could only hope.

* * *

Haru didn't bat an eyelash when he felt someone sit down next to him, keeping his flat gaze on the quiet stream in front of him. He didn't say anything or bother to even acknowledge the other.

Kyo, to be honest, was surprised to have found the ox so quickly. He'd only thought to look along the path that Tohru would generally take to get to the store and back, but had decided to take one of the wooded paths to an area that he remembered them visiting as children. He stepped out from the trees and there the other was with his back to him, his long legs stretched out in front of him as he watched the water.

Silence can only go on for so long.

"What's the deal?" Kyo finally asked. Just from looking at the others profile, it was still obvious he'd been fighting...With someone.

Haru didn't look at him, but snorted. "Come to make idle chit chat?" He glanced at the cat. "Get to the point."

Kyo's brows furrowed. "What did you do to Tohru?"

The question made Haru laugh. Sudden, loud and humorless. "Did she tell you?" He asked, tossing a small stone he held into the water and sending a sidelong glance at the redhead. Tohru had been right, the look on the white haired teens face... It didn't seem like Haru at all.

"Tell me what?"

A malicious smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "That I almost gobbled her up."

Kyo's eyes lit up light a bonfire at midnight. Anger so hot that you could probably feel it at that proximity.

"You what? Bastard..!" He growled grabbing a handful of Haru's shirt and giving him a good jerk that almost pulled the taller male on top of him. He shoved him to the side, which left Haru's back digging into uncomfortable gravel. His fist was pulled so tight that it hurt.

"She's so unguarded and naive, she didn't even push me away when I-."

"Enough!" Kyo hollered, though it didn't wipe the baiting look off of the ox's face. What the hell, he didn't know what to do. By Kyo reasoning, the only thing to do is knock the living shit out of the little ass hole.

"I know you didn't do anything." He said, trying to be coolheaded. For once. "Tohru loves you, even though you're a big jack ass. You love her too, don't you?"

The white and black haired teenager's face drifted back to a some what normal expression of blankness. His eyes remained completely flat, like the words hadn't effected him at all.

"I don't feel anything." He said tonelessly.

"Then snap out of it!" Kyo scowled, glaring down at the other. "You're not yourself right now and you're pissin' me off."

Haru's eyes narrowed. "I have." He answered. "I've bent and bent. For this family. For this curse. I've bent so far that I've already snapped. You're broken just like I am, Kyo. You just don't realize it yet. You're too stupid and head strong to notice it."

"Who are you calling stupi-" Kyo began to retaliate but he stopped short when Haru reached up at him, catching him off guard. He'd expected a solid hit, but all he felt was the others hand brush against the side of his face.

"You haven't had much experience with it." Haru said, and for the first time since Kyo had gotten there, he saw a spark of emotion behind the others grey eyes. He furrowed his eyebrows at the ox that was still just lying in the dirt, looking up at him with a reminiscent but regretful look as his fingers brushed over his forehead, pushing his fiery red hair away for just a moment before it fell back into its rightful place.

The redhead was too baffled to say anything. This wasn't the usual Black Haru perversion. It went deeper than that. At least, it's what it felt like.

"Just..Closeness." He sighed, fingers trailing down the cats temple, a palm brushing against his cheek..A thumb running over his jaw."Warmth." Despite the cold tone, the cow's fingertips seemed to almost be on fire. "Being able to enjoy the sensation of just a simple touch. And you think you're happy..Until it's gone." He said, pulling his hand away and sitting up. It was almost like he'd been trying to make a point.

The neko could feel remnants of the heat where the white haired male had touched him, but once he retreated it felt as if those very spots were being attacked by the coldness.

"There's no such thing as love in our world. It's just an illusion that cuts you when it shatters." Haru said impassively as he pushed himself up and casually brushed the dirt off his pants.

He glanced at the redhead and their eyes met for a moment as he tried to read the other, but after a second he seemed to shrug it off and started toward the tree line.

"Thanks for the chit-chat, kitty-cat." He said with one-handed wave, not looking back. He used a goading tone, as if he just easily dismissed what they'd just spoke about.

Kyo was left feeling... Unsure of what he should be feeling. Confused? Depressed? Concerned? Mad? Alone?

One thing was obvious. Something inside of Hatsuharu Sohma had broken into a thousand tiny pieces somewhere along the way.

And his face was still burning.

TBC

* * *

So I'm thinking about a little more HaruxKyoxHaru action in the next chapter. Dunno if it's obvious, but I kind of want it to build up a little and not be completely and retardedly random. (I want plot AND... smexy stuff? Can you do both? Hmm...)

Anyway, thanks for reading. Feel free to review and give me your opinions. - Kuu.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

* * *

It was a nice day out. A shame to be locked inside a building with barely any windows. It was getting to that season in between summer and winter. The sun was out, warm, but not too hot. The breeze on the roof would be cool and enjoyable. Kyo Sohma stifled a yawn at the mere thought of a nice nap under the sun.

Everything seemed to be in it's right order.

Except...

"Got a problem?" Came a familiar voice from some distance away. Kyo closed the door to his locker and glanced over where the very person of his thoughts was staring down some poor kid and his friends. The short, dark haired student under the petrifying glare of his cousin was shaking his head vigorously in reply.

"Then what the hell are you lookin' at?" Haru grouched. "If you got something to say, say it."

How long had it been? A couple weeks, now? A month?

Most people still weren't used to the dual hair colored males transformation. His explicit language and easily triggered outbursts on a regular basis.

Especially the idiot who happened to meet his eyes when he was in one of his shitty moods, as opposed to just the normal bad one. The poor kid looked about ready to piss himself.

A small crowd was gathering, much like one tended to when there was the anticipation of confrontation or the promise of a fight.. As long as they weren't directly involved. The redhead almost regretted that he had to walk in that general direction. Then again, if something happened, like someone ended up in the hospital, and he could have done something...

Ah, shit, he could already hear the lectures now.

However, from within the small crowd appeared Tohru. She stepped behind the ox and her fingers tugged at the boys sleeve. He couldn't hear what she said, if she said anything, but Haru just glared at her with narrowed eyes, pulled his arm away from her with a swift gerk and stalked off without a word.

She seemed to watch his back until he disappeared and the crowd dispersed, and even after he was no longer in sight. The big eyed girl looked at him helplessly when she heard him approach.

"I just..- eep!" She squeaked as the cat let his notebook thump her on the top of the head as he passed.

"Just get to class." He muttered.

"What about you, Kyo?" He heard her ask behind him, he knew without looking back that she would be rubbing the spot on her head.. He just raised a dismissing hand over his shoulder as a reply.

* * *

It was just as nice outside as he expected it to be. There were clouds scattered in the sky, alternating between hiding the sun and letting it shine through. The breeze blew his short red hair around a bit. He was leaning against the guard rail looking over the court yard. During classes and late after school (because let's just be honest, he never came to school early) it looked so desolate, empty.

The sound of a booted foot on concrete made him glance over his shoulder, already knowing there was only one other person who would be there when there were classes going on.

After Tohru's run in with Black Haru that day, Yuki and Shigure had decided it was time for a serious discussion. He was volen-told to be present, even though he expressed the fact that he wasn't interested.

The doctor came, along with Momiji. Against his will he was drug in and they all sat around the table, speculating. Well, that's what Kyo called it anyway, because the only person who knew what was going on inside of Haru's psychotic head was the damn cow himself.

He didn't put in his opinions, or even debate with the others opinions. He didn't mention anything about seeing the younger teenager or anything he said during that time. Why not? Because it wasn't their business? No.. Because it was private? Because he was just stubborn? No.. Oh hell, he didn't know. It just didn't feel like the right time or place to put something out there. It's not like he knew what made him snap, specifically, anyway.

Hatori had mentioned that the white haired teen had been acting a little strangely, more quiet and to himself, but it had seemed normal for someone his age. Though that was something they all knew. And now it was as if the white haired boy had completely isolated himself. At home and at school. Apparently he wasn't interested in spending time or even speaking to any of them, not that they didn't try.

Though it was risky, depending on Black's mood that day.

Kind of like gambling. You could reach in the jar and get a firecracker, or you may just get a stick of dynamite instead.

Kyo didn't find himself telling the others that he was apparently the one exception, either.

Coming back to the present, he glanced over his shoulder then turned to lean with his back against the rail, crossing his arms over his chest. Haru was leaning against the wall in the small box of shade the building provided.

He was wearing his usual garb. Piercings in his ears, rings on his fingers. With the seasons changing, they'd gone back to the black uniforms, which made the contrasting white and black of his hair more noticeable, which meant more fights. His sleeves were rolled up, revealing the green tattoo that circled his left arm. Everything about him was completely out of compliance with the school's dress code. Like usual.

But still, it was a look that it seemed only he could pull off and still have people swarming him.

The scraping sound that had caught his attention had been, from what he could tell, the other snubbing out the remnants of a cigarette with the toe of his boot. Hatsuharu's shade didn't seem to be paying him much mind today.

Sometimes the white haired boy would just show up. Sometimes he'd talk, but not about anything that would lead to serious conversation. Not after the day at the stream. Sometimes he wouldn't say a word, just sit in silence and then leave. Sometimes he just came looking for a fight.

And some times he wouldn't come in to his sight for days at a time with the exception of passing each other in the halls at school. He'd get a detached glance or some kind of mischevious smirk. The bastard was totally impossible to read.

"So you're smoking now, too?" Kyo muttered, turning back to look over the courtyard.

"Ding ding, we have a winner." Haru drawled from behind him.

"Idiot.", the redhead mumbled to himself with a slight shake of his head. He didn't hear the other push away from the wall, but he did hear the footsteps that were coming in his direction. He used pure stubbornness to not look over his shoulder at the other.

"You know, they say smoking is an oral fixation." Black stated matter of factly, coming up on the redheads left side, leaning forward on the rail with his elbows. His shoulder brushed the cats as he glanced over.

"So I'm willing to find other things to do with my mouth." He explained, as if enlightening him.

When Kyo, hot faced and scowling, turned his fiery gaze at the other, Haru was looking at him expectedly.

"Shut the hell up you brat." He growled, using an elbow to shove at the younger teenagers shoulder. "If you wanna kill yourself, go ahead. See if I care. You damn punk." Okay, so he was exxagerating a little.

"Heh. If I wanted to kill myself I'd do something a little more flare." He stood up straight and gripped the the railing and with one fluid movement, he went from one side of the rail to the other, standing on the ledge.

"Something like this would do." He said, still holding the railing but stretching his arms to a point that if he let go, there was no going back. He leaned his head back and looked up at the sky. If the height bothered him, it sure as hell didn't show.

Kyo was pretty sure he felt his heart drop, stop, then stutter back to life again. "Cut it out." He ordered seriously, a hard gaze locked on the younger Sohma. "It's dangerous, get back on this side."

The ox glanced at him, straightened and released his hold on the rail, holding his arms out and leaving it all to balance. "I thought you didn't care, baka-neko." Black replied, and he couldn't tell if the boy was joking or serious. The breeze whipped through his messy white spikes and it just made him think that one hard gust of wind and it could be over.

"It's not funny any more." Kyo said, his voice getting louder with the more angry he got. Angry because his heart was pounding like crazy in his chest. "If you fall.." He didn't really want to think about it.

"Would you try to save me if I was serious?" The ox asked with a sobered expression. But before the other had time to think or even utter a reply, Black laughed and just as easily as before, he hopped over the railing. As soon as his feet hit the concrete Kyo practically threw himself at the other.

They both ended up on the ground.

"Asshole!" Kyo growled, trying to get a hit in as they grappled. "Are you trying to give me a damn heart attack!? Think before you act you brat!"

"I don't need a lecture-." Black shoved and managed to dodge a fist but got a good knee in the ribs that swiftly knocked the air from his lungs. "-from you."

After about 5 more minutes of rolling around on the hard concrete as well as a few elbows, punches, knees and shoves later, both boys were lying on their backs panting.

"That all you got?" From the ox.

"I don't see you moving, asshole." Kyo retorted, picking his tired body off the ground and looking down at his dishevelled clothes. For today, he wasn't up for another fight, so he ignored the bait. Not to mention he was pretty sure his anxiety had met it's peak for the day.

"I'm giving you a head start."

The redhead snorted at the statement, which was the result of the demented cow talking out of his ass. "You sure have alot of spirit for a guy who just made a joke about jumping down from the third floor." Kyo said with displeasure, headed for the entrance back into the building.

He pulled the door open a portion but a hand shot over his shoulder and slammed it shut while another hand on his shoulder twirled him around. His back hit the door.

"What the hell are you do-" He was growling, surprised into momentary silence at Haru's proximity. With the others body this close, he could really tell that the ox had grown to be equal in height, if not a centimeter taller, despite being a year younger. His face was so close, it was like he didn't have anywhere else to look but into the others eyes.

Sometimes the shade reflected the mood. Right now Haru's piercing grey eyes seemed as hard and unrelenting as marble, but just as beautiful to look at. Those eyes flickered over his face, and he seemed to lean even closer.. Close enough that the redhead involuntarily held his breath.

Was he going to..!?

His body couldn't get any flatter against the door. The cows mouth hovered over his but he never broke eye contact.

And then, he pulled back and straightened.

"Make no mistake, cat." He said, all pleasantries aside. His expression was cold and unreadable. "The me standing before you is the one that has been clinging to this shitty life." He pushed the redhead aside and opened the door, stepping inside but leaving it open behind him.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kyo called after him from just inside the door way, having finally jumped back into his skin. Haru paused at the bottom of the first flight of stairs just before turning the corner to continue down.

"Give me a kiss and maybe I'll tell you."

Kyo's face got warm. "Like hell, you perverted cow!" He snarled, his shackles up.

Haru snorted and shoved his hands into his pockets. "Then I guess we're done here, stupid cat." He dismissed and disappeared around the corner.

* * *

Kyo knew he'd had no intention of saying anything else to begin with. After catching himself just standing there like he was in some sort of daze, he shook his head and clapped his hands on his hot cheeks then walked inside.

After leaving Kyo up top, Haru had two choices: leave the campus altogether, or go to class. So, that's how he ended up walking into the full classroom in the middle of a lecture. He paid no mind to the silence, to the looks or the fact that the teacher was scowling as he gave a sarcastic "So glad you could join us, ."

He simply plopped down in his uncomfortable seat and commenced to looking out of the window to his left. The only nice thing about being in class was being assigned to the last seat on the first row.

"-aru."

Bzzzz. Was there an annoying fly buzzing around?

"Haru, the teacher." Came a soft whisper. Momiji, of course, who was assigned to the seat just beside him.

It would seem that the ox was lost in the tranquility of his thoughts on the outside. It was either that, or pointedly ignoring the fact that he was being spoken to. One seemed more realistic than the other.

"Hatuharu Sohma." Came the teachers voice again, though the tone was hardly mistakable this time.

The white haired student sent a look of distaste at the teacher.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your sight seeing." He said, arms crossed over his chest.

Haru quirked an eyebrow. "If that was true then you wouldn't have opened your trap to begin with, am I right?"

Dead silence. Almost like he'd committed some kind of a taboo.

Talking back, oooooh.

What a bunch of idiots.

The teacher looked like a fish out of water for a moment, but he'd give him credit for his recovery time.

"While you're busy being late and acting out like a delinquent, your grades hang in the balance." He lectured. The wrinkle in his brow and the way his nostrils flared when he expressed his anger made the cow laugh. His arms went to his sides in indignation, but he seemed to let it roll off his shoulders.

"Getting back to the lesson, please come forward and solve the equation on the board. It's simple, even someone who doesn't pay attention can do it."

Haru made a point to lean to the side so he could see the problem on the white dry erase board before he stood up and leisurely walked to the front of the room with a mischevious eyebrow raised.

He picked up and uncapped a black marker, and as he wrote the squeak of the tip on the board seemed like the only noise in the room. When he was done, he capped it and stepped aside to reveal his answer with a corteous bow.

* * *

x - 3 = -5

+3 +3

_**x = Fuck off.**_

* * *

Outrage showed on the teachers face as the room filled with murmurs and a few chuckles. He quickly reached up and ran his hand over the writing, destroying its existence.

"A word outside. Now." He ordered through gritted teeth. Said teen seemed to already be in the process of stepping toward the door. As he passed the older man, he paused while invading his personal space. He had at least a half an inch on the guy.

"You don't want to be around me when I walk out of here..Sensei." He told him with the hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. His expression said it all. The promise of something.. Unpleasant. He put the marker he'd written with in the breast pocket of the mans shirt, gave it a pat and stepped passed him, their shoulders bumping.

Momiji's not so much surprised but worried eyes followed his cousins form. He passed the teacher after murmuring something to the man, something the couldn't hear. Then he headed for the door. As he passed the podium, he raised a hand and sent a small stack of papers fluttering to the floor like it was confetti. Surprisingly, the door shut quietly behind him, but after a few moments there was a loud but indescribable crash that made the entire room jump and burst into whispers again.

It seemed that the teacher didn't want to have a word with him after all.

Haru stared at the trash can he'd just kicked the shit out of. The metal bin had a dent in it, and trash had just about exploded across the , it didn't relieve his pent up irritation in the least. There was so much of it, he'd probably have to commit something like genocide to actually make a dent in it.

After all, at this point he was practically hormonal anger incarnate.

The cow scratched the back of his head and gave a bored sigh, deciding it was time to get out of there. Now the decision was what to do.

His first thought was obvious. Go find Kyo.

The redheads scowling face came to mind.

That was always his first thought. He was glaring now.

When the fuck did that happen, exactly?

"Whatever is bothering you, don't sweat it." Kyo's voice rang from his thoughts. "If you need to bitch a little, that's fine, ya know? So if you need to, you can just come to me." With that awkward scowl, trying to cover up the fact that he cared. He had a shitty ass poker face.

The same words rang in his ears every time he almost got out of control. And somehow, he managed to recollect himself to a certain extent.

He didn't remember when or where he'd spoken to the cat, but he could hear the redheads voice, akward and loud. And his body remembered the feelings of sadness. Loneliness. A certain pressure in his chest that seemed to lessen with the others words.

That's all he remembered after that. Since then, it had been him that woke up every day.

Something in the ox seemed to be fixated. A stubborn part of him refused to go looking for the redhead again after just seeing him, but another part of him almost felt like he would be restless until he did.

"Tch." He kicked at some trash and shoved his hands into his pockets, starting down the hallway. He didn't want to stick around here to listen to any more bitching and moaning.

The next lecture he heard, someone was gonna get punched in the damn face.

* * *

-TBC in the next chappy.-

Thanks for reading. Sorry for the delay. Work and laziness. It's coming along, slowly but surely. Building up, building upppppppp. *SMOOOOOCH*


	5. Chapter 5

Woo, I'm in the mood to write! I wanna dedicate this chapter to two people**. IToldYou-MyNameIsLea** for giving me a boost of inspiration for the one shot she wrote. **Artistic18** for getting me all giddy about the story and what is to come. I WANT DEVELOPMENTS. :3

Also in reply to a review I got from **Momoiro.** I would have answered it earlier, but there was no way for me to because you signed as a guest. D: Right now in the story, Haru got to a point where he is currently stuck on Black. Black comes out in sticky situations usually, but his white side was always the dominant one. In this case, his Black side has at some point become more dominant (strong) than his white side.

This chapter got a little bit longer than I anticipated. o_o

* * *

**Chapter 5**

* * *

His back was against the door, pinned between the unyielding surface and the body in front of wind was tossling his red hair and the breeze was warm. But the lips hovering just over his were even warmer. Close enough that he could smell the faint scent of the cigarette he'd smoked earlier. Close enough that if he just leaned forward a little they would touch.

What would they feel like against his?

Some unknown urge mixed with curiosity compelled him to be the one to lean forward and close the distance. To confirm that the heat from the others lips would contrast the steely look in his eyes.

"Wuah!"

THUMP.

He found himself laying on the cold floor, wide-eyed and practically gasping for air from the drea- nightmare he was just having.

He didn't really even have the time to really gather what the hell was going on before there was a faint pitter patter of footsteps that gradually grew louder, and then his door was practically being busted open. Tohru's, equally wide-eyed and worried face was the first thing he saw. "Are you..."

"GET OUT, YOU NOSY WOMAN!" Kyo shouted, like he'd been caught doing something embarrassing, wanting to just throw the sheet he had pulled off of the bed with him over his head.

Hell, it'd probably burst in to flames, considering how hot his face felt.

The girl must have noticed this, because she then uttered: "A-a fever? I'll make you something right now!"

And she was gone.

Cursing under his breath, the cat stood up, threw the sheet back on his bed and proceeded to start the day. He jerkily got dressed, washed his face, with extra cold water, and brushed his teeth.

When he went downstairs to the kitchen, the brunette haired girl was bustling around. She paused in stirring whatever it was she was making and by the smell of it, it was something he probably didn't want. She looked him over. More like studied him.

"You're up? How do you feel? Is there any pain? I'm making you some porridge."

"Enough with the mother hen routine, I'm not sick." He grouched. He scowled at a corner of the room for no particular reason.

His whole morning felt thrown off.

It was all that damn Haru's fault. He'd gone to bed a little confused. His thoughts had swirled around what happened, or almost happened on the roof.

He hadn't gotten home right away after school. But when he did get there later in the evening, he'd found Haru sitting on the edge of his bed. He'd been hunched slightly, his elbows resting on his knees and his fingers laced together with his head bowed.

Honestly, the cat had thought he was asleep, considering how still he'd been. Then the ox looked up from the floor where he'd been staring for God knew how long. Their eyes met and locked for a few moments. His expression had seemed troubled. Not the usual cocky asshole look, but not the icy "the world can just burn" look either.

Then white haired teen had stood up and left without a word.

Through the window.

Not that Black Haru had made a habit of using the front door when he came and went these days, what with the whole ignoring everyones existence thing.

Nonetheless, it had left him even more confused. But then again, the ox's actions since he'd gone almost permanently Black hadn't exactly been consistent.

A cool hand pulled him out of his thoughts as Tohru pushed his bangs back and felt his forehead, which made him frown down at her.

"Huh, you don't have a fever..." She seemed confused, since apparently she had been so sure.

Kyo batted her hand away, like it was an annoying fly. "Cut it out, already. Didn't I just say that?"

"But you looked so flushed a few minutes ago, I thought..."

Shigure, who had so graciously remained quiet up until this point abruptly clapped the newspaper shut and laid it on the table.

"Worry not, my little flower. He's a growing boy, after all." He said it dramatically.

Well, in the dogs eyes it was dramatic and sagely, but in his it was just plain old being obnoxious. The older kimono wearing man put one elbow on the table and rested his chin in his palm.

Of course, Tohru just tilted her head, naive as usual, and attended to the stove once again.

Not one to miss a chance, however, Shigure's interested and perversed gaze didn't leave the younger Sohma, who glanced at him with a look of distaste.

"Looking at dirty magazines so early in the morning?" He sighed. "You'll go blind." He said, as if it were a shame, hiding his hands in the sleeves of his hoari.

"Get a life you perverted geezer." was the redheads scathing reply.

"A dirty dream, then?"

Kyo glared death at the dog, one could almost see the inner cat with it's ears laid flat and his shackles up. Always reacting without thinking. As if that didn't give it away, the pinkish tinge warming up his tan skin did.

"Jump off a cliff, you shitty dog!" He shouted, stomping out of the room while mumbling something about perverted idiots, leaving Shigure chuckling to himself at the table.

"Have you been reading my novels again?" He called.

"Who would! Dumbass!", followed by the sound of a door slamming.

"That look of yours pisses me off." Said shithead #1 with a gritty voice.

Trouble tended to follow him. Which wasn't a problem for him, per say. If anything, he rather enjoyed a little havoc on a day to day basis.

His back solidly hit a wall. Pain lanced down his spine, starting at his left shoulder. He resisted the urge to grimace and focused more on the two men ahead of him. Their shoulders were squared, their postures straight. Trying to look bigger than they were. He wanted to laugh at their show of "force".

He chuckled to himself and shook his head, straightening himself up and rotating his shoulder to keep it from getting tight. The other two hadn't made another move yet.

He wasn't known for walking away from a fight.

"What're ya waitin' for? A debate? If you're gonna do somethin' then do it." he said, making a beckoning gesture but walking toward them at the same time, flexing and unflexing his hands at his sides.

One looked to the other and nodded. The show was on.

Of course, both didn't advance at the same time. That would be far too easy. One would be the distraction and the other would flank him. He laughed outloud. Judging by the look of the shaggy haired wannabe gang banger, the action displeased him greatly.

Shithead # 2 growled and rushed, fist raised. He was so slow compared to Kyo that it felt like all he could do was watch and wait. When the fist came at him, he blocked it with a forearm. And as he expected, he shoved the other away and just as he did so a pair of arms were around his shoulders.

He growled, grasping the shithead #1's bicep, bending slightly and heaving forward, which sent him sprawling over his shoulder and on to the ground just in time for his buddy to come in again.

Haru snatched up a handful of the guys t-shirt and landed a solid hit but when he went for another, his arm was caught by the teammate, which left him wide open for the split second it took for his friend to get a good hit in. Hard enough that it snapped his head to the side.

"Heh.." The two hesitated when all he did was chuckle lowly. Their mistake.

He shoved his elbow back and was pleased that it hit something solid. There was a grunt and his arm was free.

Shithead #2 went for a takedown, which succeeded.

It winded him a bit, but not enough that he wasn't able to fight. They struggled for a moment but he ended up on top. Shithead #1 came in for the save, going for shithead #2 while a third pair of hands found his shoulders and jerked him back.

"The fuck is with this dude?" Shithead #2 was saying.

"It doesn't matter, just hold him." Shithead #1 was saying.

Shithead #2 and now Shithead #3 had his arms pulled behind his back. A swift kick to the back of his knee made his leg buckle and he was forced onto his knees. Well, at least they were smart enough to immobilize him.

Around the 2nd free hit, he tasted blood in his mouth.

"I hate arrogant pretty boys like you." Said shithead #1, shaking his fist which he apparently hurt while striking him.

"Aw, you think I'm pretty?" he replied sarcastically.

This earned him another hit, this one to the abdomen. It knocked the air out of him and made him cough, while trying to breathily laugh at the same time.

"There's something wrong with this dudes head." Shithead #2 said.

His felt fingers dig in to his white hair, jerking his head back. He clenched his teeth, his gaze set in stone at the asshole standing in front of him.

"What happened to all that bravado, eh?"

"Come say that to me when you learn to wipe your own ass." He told the shaggy haired male, preparing himself for what was to come.

But then suddenly there was a flurry of movement and Shithead #1 was rolling on the ground groaning.

"What the hell did you get yourself in to now?" Kyo was asking, rubbing his fist and looking from him to the two that were holding him 'captive'. "You just fighting any random punk you find on the street?"

Ignoring the painfully obvious question of 'Where did you come from and how long have you been here?' the black and white haired male went with:

"Why are you butting in?" Sounding as if he had it completely handled, even in his current position. On his knees and completely dishevelled.

"Don't answer my question with another question, jackass."

"Then don't ask stupid questions."

"I don't know why I even bother with you."

"Please keep bothering with me."

Kyo glared at him, then to the person behind him to his right. Almost like he couldn't keep eye contact for more than a few seconds at a time.

Then his arms were miraculously freed. It wasn't surprising, the redheaded cat had perfected the look that promised nothing but pain and misery over the years.

No matter which way you looked at it, he had that predatory aura that was hard to match, especially lowly animals like these guys. It was part of what made the tanned redhead so attractive.

He looked over to say something jeering to the cat, but what caught his eye was the guy that had pushed himself back up behind the the older Sohma.

He'd picked something up and was moments away from swinging it, a look of reckless abandon on his face. It said that he couldn't handle the fact that he was so easily cast down.

There was no way he was close enough to stop him.

The redhead must have been able to read something from his expression because he quickly turned, but it was too late to dodge, even with all of their training.

The blow was direct and made an almost sickening sound.

The guys friends were frantic now.

"Dude, that's too much!"

"Shit! What're you doing?!"

The redheads legs almost seemed to buckle from beneath him, but he managed to catch himself from falling and just crouched, looking dazed. His head was bowed slightly, his red hair falling into his eyes. His hand moved up to his head, then there was blood.

Blood.

Red.

That's the only thing he saw. The only thing he could hear was the blood pounding in his ears.

'You have to calm down..' It was the faint sound of Rins soft voice again.. The soothing feel of fingers running through his short hair..

And then suddenly he could hear Kyo's raised voice, felt a strong hand catch his wrist and latch on tight with a steel grip.

"Stop, he's already out." Came the redheads tired voice.

He froze and felt some of the tension leave his rigid body. As if the warm hand gripping his wrist so tightly was grounding him.

He looked down, realizing that he had the guy pinned. He was obviously unconscious, his body limp. Bruised and bleeding. He didn't feel any remorse for it, either. His fist tightened, and he could feel the the rawness of his knuckles from the action.

He took a deep breath, felt the loss of warmth when Kyo's fingers slipped from his skin. He pushed himself to his feet and sent a sidewards glance at Shithead 3 and 2, who looked petrified by what had just happened. They muttered their panicked apologies, attempted to scoop up their friend and high tailed their asses out of there.

Which just left the two of them. He plopped down so they were sitting side by side on the hard cement. Kyo leaned back on his hands and tilted his head back with his eyes closed. After a few moments his brow furrowed and his cheeks darkened a little.

"You're staring." He said, apparently having felt the ox's intense gaze.

The cow made an inaudible sound, but didn't deny it. The redhead fidgetted, but stubbornly didn't look at him.

"Let me take a look at it." He finally demanded with a scowl, crawling closer to the other. Kyo's eyes snapped over to him and he blinked almost awkwardly and waved him off, glancing in the opposite direction.

"It's not as bad as it looks.." He muttered. "Don't worry about it."

Stubborn.

"Shut up and let me see." He demanded. He hoped it was only as bad as it looked. There was a trail of blood that ran from the left side of his temple all the way down into the collar of his black shirt.

Kyo involuntarily flinched when the others hand moved up. Oops.

"I haven't even touched you yet." Haru said flatly. "Quit being a stubborn ass," A hand on his chin turned his head in the ox's direction. "And let me look."

Cool, slender fingers drifted up to the area around his temple, brushing a few locks of fiery red hair out of the way, though a few strands were wet from the blood and doing their best to stick to his skin.

When his bangs were pushed away from his forehead, the air felt cool against his skin. It felt almost nice, now that he was starting to feel the faint throbbing in his head. Haru leaned closer to get a better look.

He caught himself taking in the others features. His pale skin was reddened and smudged in certain places, obviously from fighting. There was little spatters of blood that contrasted against his pale skin in a couple of spots. Blood that wasn't his. The ox's studious gaze caught his and he pointedly looked away, cursing himself. He felt his ears burning.

As he expected. He was way too damn conscious of the other Sohma all of a sudden.

With a quirked eyebrow, the younger Sohma looked as if he were about to say something that the redhead didn't want to hear, but he just sat back on his heels.

"I'm no doctor, but you should probably get that looked at." He said, pointing a finger at his own head in the general area of where the wound on the cat's forehead was. From the throb, hed say it was just in his hairline.

"Whose fault do you think it is?" He accused with a scowl, happy to shift his focus on blaming all of his misfortune on the other. "Take some responsibility, damnit." After he said it, he felt embarrassed all over again.

Like anyone who heard it would assume it had a double meaning. Like hell it did! And if anyone said otherwise, he'd deny it.

He shook his head stubbornly and immediately regretted it, making the throbbing even worse. He grimaced and put a hand to his head.

Silence ensued for a moment, then white haired male stood up, looking at him with a blank expression that made him seem unusually statuesque.

"Alright, then." He said, reaching out to help the redhead to his feet. The cat stubbornly pushed himself to his feet without the others help.

Black Haru sighed and ran a hand through his messy white hair. "Stubborn as usual, baka-neko." He drawled.

"I'm hard headed, what can I say." He said lightly in an attempt to mask the fact that his head was killing him and suddenly standing up had sent a wave of dizziness through him.

"Wrestling bears in the mountains will do that to a man." Was the ox's sarcastic reply. Obviously an attempt to lighten the situation. He resisted the urge to growl out a 'how many damn times do I have to say that I wasn't fighting any damn bears!?'

Kyo snorted instead. He stumbled a bit but the cow caught his arm, which saved him from an unplanned trip to the ground.

And that's how they ended up where they were now. Sitting in Hatori's darkened office/mini clinic by themselves, waiting for the dragon to conveniently drop in.

After sneaking in, of course.

"Why are we here." Kyo muttered.

"You told me to take responsibility." Was Haru's reply in the dark.

Was that all?

"I'm leaving." Kyo said, stepping toward the door. Of course, being the equally stubborn ass as he was, the ox stepped in front of him and leaned back on the door with his arms crossed over his chest.

Effectively blocking him.

"Move."

"Hmmm... No."

"This isn't funny."

"I'm not laughing."

"We-," The cat paused for a moment, "I'm not supposed to be here, if we get caught-"

If Akito got wind of him roaming around on the main grounds without invitation... All it took was for one wrong pair of eyes to catch a glimpse of him. He could just imagine look if distaste and disgust now.

"You won't." Black stated matter of factly. "All of those superstitious idiots can go fuck themselves anyway."

"Easy for you to say." He muttered, it's not like it was actually superstition.

The cow took a step forward, and for every step he took, Kyo absently took a step back. Before he realized it, his lower back had already hit the metal examining table that was located in the center of the room.

The room was relatively dark, but with his eyes adjusted to the dark lighting, he was still able to see well enough to know the mischevious glint in the others eyes.

"Or we could play doctor." He drawled, planting his hands on the metal table on either side of him, leaning in almost dangerously close for the third time in two days.

"I'll be the doctor and you can be the patient." He murmured.

He was thankful that his blush wasn't visible in the dim lighting. It felt like he'd been doing that alot recently. Not to mention his heart felt like it was speeding up, which was making him feel absolutely incredulous. And cornered.

Never once in the many times that Black Haru had made dirty jokes and insinuations had he ever even looked at the other in any light other than being an annoying, arrogant punk.

So why the hell did he have to start noticing all these small details now? Like the way the other male smelled when he leaned in close, some mixture of his unique scent mixed with something else that he wore that seemed alluring and masculine.

He was a guy. He wasn't curvy or soft. He had a tall and solid but lithe frame. He knew this from fighting with him. Judging by the fact that he still trained in martial arts, his muscles would be toned with hidden strength beneath his punkish clothes.

It was a given fact that all of the Sohma's that were cursed with the spirit of an animal of the zodiac also seemed to be cursed with almost tragically good looks, which attracted more attention and increased the difficulty of the curse being found out.

But, he'd once been the one that had to escort a younger snotty nosed Haru to the bathroom and back years ago.

So it was very difficult for him to accept that he was finding himself strangely attracted to the now older, dual personalitied and pierced version.

"If you stop resisting, I might take it as an 'okay'." The ox's voice was laced with heat and so close that it tickled his ear. He turned his head away from it and heard a quiet chuckle from the other.

'Say something!' he was thinking, but his mouth remained firmly shut and his body stubbornly rigid.

The cat opened his mouth to utter something when the sound of the knob on the door twisting made him practically jump out of his skin. He felt Haru straight and take a step back as the door opened and light flooded into the room.

Hatori's silhouette paused in the doorway, already taking notice of someones presence in the room, even with so little light.

"Hatsuharu?" He asked, flipping on the light, which was almost blinding after sitting in the dark for so long. The redhead squinted as his eyes adjusted. The usually placid juunishi actually displayed a small flicker of surprise when his eyes landed on the redhead, still leaning against the table.

He'd be hard to miss, anyway. Compared to the company, he was the only splash of color in the room.

Whether the doctor was taken aback by his presence there, the fact that he was there with Haru.. Or the fact that he had remnants of dried blood smear on his tan skin (even though he'd made an vain attempt at wiping it away) there was no telling.

"What happened?" He asked, his expression schooled back in to it's normal 'down to business' look.

"Er-" Shit, what kind of excuse to use..

"He hit his head, sensei." The patronizing tone made him grimace. Hatori, unperturbed, stepped closer to him and turn his head to the side with a thumb on his chin.

"I'd have liked to think you'd keep yourself out of trouble." The man was obviously not talking to him.

"Not interested." Haru had perched himself on the edge of the dragons desk, absently playing with some nic nac that was on the surface.

He saw a small frown appear on the doctors face, but apparently that was that...

Over the next few minutes, Hatori cleaned most of the blood, which had since dried onto his skin. He seemed almost unforgiving when he did something that stung like crazy on the wound.

"There's going to be a decent sized knot. The cut isn't bad enough that it needs stitches." He was saying as he shined an obnoxiously bright light into his right eye. Then his left.

"Other than the headache, you're going to be fine." He stated, finally. Straightening back up.

"Uh, thanks.." Kyo said sheepishly.

Haru stood up and looked him over, his face had slid back into it's neutral blankness. "Now we're even."

"Che." Kyo headed for the door. "Next time I'll leave your ungrateful ass to get beat down."

After all, just be some stupid coincidence that he was in the right place at the right time. Or maybe it was the wrong place at the right time..

Everybody went tense when there was a soft knock on the door.

"Hatori, it's me." Came the quiet sound of Kureno's voice through the door. Hatori looked from Haru to Kyo, almost all of them knowing that if he was there, then obviously there would be someone else following right behind.

Haru's eyes were on the door, and it was almost like he could physically see the change in his demeanor, like a darkness within him had suddenly spread throughout his body like a plague. His expression went from cold to arctic, it was a surprise that he didn't get goosebumps.

"Cat, I think it's about time you left." The white haired male told him, then glanced at him with those unforgiving, stony eyes. "That means now."

Kyo glanced at Hatori, who just give him a simple nod in agreement. He didn't have to be asked twice. His heart dropped at the thought of having to confront Akito again.

The doorknob began to twist, so Haru stepped forward and gripped it himself, casting one glance to see that Kyo was gone, before he swung the door open.

Kureno's surprised face was the first thing he saw, the former zodiac member obviously having not expected to see him and judging by his hesitation, the expression the ox had had him worried about another rerun of last time.

After all, none of them had seen the other since the last confrontation.

He could remember it vividly. The coldness spreading through his heart and the rage he'd felt when he'd learned of what had happened with Rin. And that she'd been hospitalized.

Remembered the feeling of jerking the loosly worn yukata that the family head had been wearing and the satisfaction of feeling that weak body hit the wall, pulling his fist back while ignoring the yells from Kureno.. Pointedly missing and planting a fist in the wall just inches from a very shocked Akito's face.

When he'd walked away without a word, he'd ignored Akito's screams.

'W-Wait! Don't go! Come back!'

'Hatsuharu!'

So selfish. Possessive. Cruel.

Desperate.

Kureno had headed him off.

'Go. And don't return.' He'd said.

He'd left and shortly after saw Rin at the hospital. Where they'd gone seperate ways. ***

That was the last time they'd seen each other.

"Hatsuharu. Long time no see.."

TBC.

* * *

*** This little segment is actually from the manga, for those who haven't read it through. It's from chapter 105. That's kind of where I'm setting this story. If you haven't read the manga to this point, I'll give you what you need to know to not be lost. I won't go in to any major detail, I don't want to spoil it, but for those who want a run down, read below.

Just know that Haru and Rin were a couple, Akito found out and because he knew Haru liked Rin, he hurt her and locked her in the cats room after catching Rin sneaking around in his room looking for something. When Haru finds out, he basically goes berserk. Akito tells him it's his fault that she got hurt because he said that he liked her even though the only one they needed to love was him.

So in this story, after they meet up, instead of staying together, they split up. And that's where Haru was in the beginning of this story. (maybe ill have to edit the first chapter a little :P )

Anywho, next chapter soonish, I hope. Review if you wanna make me feel warm and fuzzy. D:


	6. Chapter 6

LOL. I was reading through the reviews for this story to see if there was a certain way that I should lead the feel. One of the first reviews made me lol.

"I want kyo to hurry up and have some sex with Haru :((" This made me laugh, though all the while.. I feel the same way. Its actually hard for me to attempt to come up with plot because I just want dirty stuff to happen. D:

* * *

**Chapter 6.**

* * *

Kyo found himself sitting crosslegged near the edge of his own bed, watching the others sleeping face, feeling equally drained himself.

The other seemed so.. peaceful, his features lax.. His breaths coming quiet and slow. It seemed so wrong, knowing the moment those eyes opened it'd be nothing but crisp words and a cutting gaze. Right now there wasn't a hint of strain, anger, pain or distrust lingering in his features like he'd gotten so used recently.

He couldn't get the image of the others pained expression out of his head. It had made his chest feel as if something were trying to claw his way out. He'd wanted to do something, _anything_, to make it stop.

The cat absently flicked a couple of still damp strands of white hair away from the ox's face then hesitated as the younger male rolled onto his side as he slumbered, a pale hand absently reaching out toward him. He silently cursed and balled his hand into a fist, the action having made him realize what he was unconsciously doing.

Ah, jeez.. He just couldn't leave the guy alone..

* * *

...Earlier that day...

* * *

Kyo had barely cleared the window when he heard the door open in the room he'd just been in. Slender fingers attempted to let the window ease back into a closed position, but one easy slip left it closing with a not so quiet snap.

He flinched and caught himself holding his breath. There was no way he'd chance a peek to see if the sound was loud enough to grasp any unwanted attention. He did what he was meant to do.

He got the hell out of there as fast as his legs would take him. His only hope would be that no one else managed to catch a glimpse of him before he was off of the property.

* * *

The sound from the far side of the room did not fall on deaf ears, unfortunately.

The ox didn't bat an eyelash and Hatori's usually unreadable face remained as such, though there was the hint of tension in his shoulders. The family heads eyes narrowed at the taller male in front of him and made to glance passed him, but the cow simply blocked his line of sight with an arm by planting his hand on the doorframe and leaning in to it slightly.

Akito's made no attempt to hide his contempt at the action.

The message of 'If you want to enter, you're gonna have to push pass me' was not subtle in the least on Haru's part. His expression could almost be described as _daring._

"Is there something I should know about?" Akito's tone was laced with suspicion, unforgiving eyes darting to the dragon just behind the teenager.

Haru let out a small, amused snort.

Eyes were back on him.

"Hatsuharu was just leaving," Hatori cut in, not sparing the ox a glance. He'd collected a clipboard from his desktop and was pretending to be as astute and punctual as he normally was, but there was strain in his expression.

The family heads cold eyes landed on the ox, who seemed unaffected by the stare. The facade from before that gave the impression that he was pleased to see him after his absence was now a thing of the past.

The ox's dishevelled appearance, accompanied by the smudges of dirt and blood on his pale skin at least made the fact that he was _there_ legitimate. Even though the only reason he'd come to begin with was to attend to Kyo, whose presence on the grounds of the main house was strictly prohibited.

"I hope you've been reflecting," Akito said with an expression of such arrogance and superiority that it in no way matched the frailness that seemed to emanate around him. It was obvious that he had no intention of letting what happened in the past slide.

"I've been waiting." His thin fingers reached out, as if to touch the white haired males stony face, " Waiting for you to come crawling back and beg for my forgiveness." There was a sadistic gleam in his eyes and that same tilt of his lips that just made everything about the family head seem.. Unnatural.

'_I'm so tired.'_

"You should be grateful that I-"

'_Tired of this. Tired of you.'_

_'Let's just end this already.'_

There must have been something about his body language or his expression that set off alarms, because there was a sudden tension in the room.

"Oh I _am_ grateful." The ox said, leaning in. "I was just thinking that maybe we should finish our conversation from last time-" He commented, his weight shifting a bit.

"Akito-sama," Hatori cut in, actually stepping forward just as Kureno did the same from just behind the family head, an alarmed expression dawning his usually neutral face.

The white haired teenager seemed to freeze in place. As usual when he was Black, his concealed emotions fueled his decisions and movements. There was rare any reasonable thought involved.

His head turned to look at the hand that had planted itself firmly on his shoulder when the doctor had stepped forward and cut in. It was a wonder that the mentally imbalanced boy didn't automatically lash out at the action. The dragon didn't fight it when Haru jerkily shrugged the hand off of his shoulder. He hadn't missed the stony look he'd been given when the others narrowed grey eyes landed on him.

It'd be a lie to say he wasn't bothered by it. By the coldness, the disgust. It was just pure contempt. But he did his best to ignore it for now. More intent on deescalating a situation before it actually _escalated._

"We are on a strict schedule concerning your treatment, it would be unwise to delay any further considering your current condition." Anyone could see the poor dragon was grasping at air.

Akito, obviously displeased with the situation, dismissed the dragon but seemed to drop the tense conversation, much to the doctors relief.

The ox seemed to detach himself from his slowly simmering anger back into a more cold, dismissive persona as he straightened and allowed the head to step passed him into the office as he stepped out without another word.

The door clicked closed behind him.

His hands found their way into his pockets as he headed down the hall with every intention to leave for the night. His first thought was to check on that stupid cat to make sure he got off the grounds without a hitch.

He could feel Kureno's gaze on him as he passed and when the rooster opened his mouth, as if to speak, Haru cut him off before he could utter even a single word.

"Whatever you gotta say better be worth what comes after." The threat in his tone matched the coldness in his eyes as he paused and gave the older man a side glance.

His only answer was silence.

"Huh. Figures." mumbled the ox as he continued down the hall and disappeared.

* * *

Fingers threaded through his fiery hair, short nails almost teasingly scraping against his scalp, pulling a soft sigh from his lips as he slept. He was barely teetering over the edge of being asleep and returning to the world of the waking.

Fingers continued to play with his hair, as if lulling him back into a hazy slumber, stopping only to brush against his forehead, over his cheek bone, trailing over his jawline almost soothingly.

"Mm.." He grunted in his sleep, unconsciously wanting to lean in to the warmth.

Somehow, without even knowing.. He knew that the hand belonged to Haru. The touch seemed familiar, but was so.. Gentle. But behind closed eyes, he couldn't imagine the expression that went with the sensation..

Haru's voice seemed to echo, '_You haven't had much experience with it. Closeness.. Warmth.' _The same words that the male had uttered so sadly before, at the stream when this had all just started.

The hand had moved back up, almost as if he were being petted.

'_You won't crave it until it's gone.'_

He felt his brows furrow slightly as he shifted restlessly.

_..._

And then the feeling was gone. The warmth faded into a cold that seemed to bite deep into his bones.

"Stay the hell away from me, Kyo."

The words were spoken loud and clear, startling him to the point that his eyes shot open, his heart was pounding in his chest. With shallow breaths, he pushed himself up as his eyes darted around his dark, empty room.

A dream?

There was a slight throb in his head that he ignored as he did his best to take in his surroundings. He flinched as the loud sound of thunder suddenly crashed outside. It was only then that he realized that it had started raining at some point while he'd been asleep.

Since he was obviously almost in his room, the only deduction to be made was that the thunder had been what startled him awake.

He'd returned home and almost immediately laid down with his face buried in his pillow, his head throbbing and his thoughts on what may or may not be happening at the main house after he left.

Eventually, he must've fallen asleep.. It was now dark outside, what time was it?

He pushed himself out of his bed and slowly made his way to the door, his body already feeling the burden that the rain brought. He felt drained, anxious. A part of him just wanted to remain in the dark solitude of his room.

As he made it to the top of the stairs, he heard voices below. Among them, a voice that didn't belong to anyone that inhabited the house. He made sure to soundlessly make his way down the stairs, drawing closer as the voices became more clear.

"-to do?" It was Shigure's voice.

"There's no way to predict what will happen next time." It was Hatori. Kyo's brow furrowed. This was about Haru, then.

"Did Akito say anything?" Shigure asked.

"He didn't. But Kureno pulled me aside. He was... concerned." The doctor continued, "With how unstable he seems to be right now, we can't risk someone getting hurt. Himself included."

Of course, there was some truth to the deduction. Sometimes with Black Haru there seemed to be a very thin line between reason and blind, careless rage. It was a double sided sword, being that Akito was capable of wreaking just as much havoc, in even worse ways..

There was a small clink, probably him leaning forward to place a cup back after taking a drink. He sighed, and this time it sounded tired.

"I didn't think he'd be affected this badly. He hid it so well after he saw Rin.. He must have just.. Snapped."

The crease in Kyo's brow deepened. Isuzu? He hadn't mentioned anything about her earlier when they'd all been forced to discuss Haru's situation. He found himself rounding the corner and blurting out a demanding "What about her?" that left both Hatori and Shigure blinking at his sudden appearance.

"Eavesdropping, Kyo?" Shigure said, his tone and expression not carrying his usually cheerful, teasing feel.

"It doesn't count as eavesdropping when you have the door open." The cat pointed out, and quirked an eyebrow at the dragon. He wasn't going to allow them to change the subject.

There was a silence. And he found it very aggravating.

"Don't you think some of us deserve an explanation?" He asked, getting more irate with the more he thought about it. "Don't tell me you've known what was wrong this whole time and didn't think to humor any of us? We're all affected by this, you know." He felt like he was especially.

Hatori didn't look proud of himself and there was a frown adorning his face. "Like I said, I didn't anticipate this. It's not something that can be easily fixed." And he seemed genuinely troubled by it.

"Okay, so stop beating around the bush and explain."

Hatori seemed to stare silently ahead for a few agonizingly long moments before he sighed and leaned forward, removing his glasses from their perch and folding them in his hands.

He explained, in short, simple details.

He explained that Rin and Haru had established a relationship. Akito had found out. At some point when they'd run in to each other, Rin had gotten hurt and hospitalized. They were split up. He even ventured to tell him that he'd blacked out and had a confrontation that very day, though he had just figured the younger Sohma needed time to calm himself down and accept things as they were.

Hatori pinched the bridge of his nose, as if to ward off an oncoming headache. " I was careless.. When I saw the look on his face today, I thought something horrible was going to happen." He admitted, "It would be unwise to allow them to cross paths with his mind it's current state."

"What mind?" Shigure murmured, playing with the contents of whatever was sloshing around in his cup.

Kyo was at a loss for words after being given an explanation that almost seemed to be the missing puzzle piece to everything. Alot of it seemed to make sense.. Some of the mysterious words and gestures from the ox in the past weeks.

He'd been hit, and hit hard from the looks of it. There were surely other details that only replayed themselves in the ox's head, widening the void and fueling the maelstrom of emotion. None of that emotion being positive.

_"There's no such thing as love in our world. It's just an illusion that cuts you when it shatters."_

Haru's words echoed in his memory, the cold look of realism in his eyes were had been seared into his memory.

_"You're broken just like I am, Kyo."_

No, the cat thought. He still had fight in him. He was stubborn and refused to see the negative side of everything, even at times when it seemed like that's all there was.

He might be a little damaged, but anything that the ox had inside of him had been completely demolished..

His chest tightened a bit at the realization. Was it empathy? Or maybe because a part of him realized that Hatori was right. That it was not something that could be easily fixed. Possibly the thought of how much pain the other had been in to the point that he gave up was weighing him down.

"So, what should we do?" Shigure finally asked.

The room fell into a long silence. Kyo found himself sticking around, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the doorframe at the entrance of the room.

"We could.." Shigure hesitated. "..Wipe his slate clean."

Kyo almost started at the idea. "You mean-."

Shigure sent him a look and cut him off before he could even get started. "There's no use in walking in circles around it. What else can we do?"

Hatori seemed to have already had that idea in mind, too. He just didn't seem to want to be the first to bring it up. "It'd probably be the smartest and least dangerous route." Shigure just nodded his agreement.

Kyo found himself getting very wound up. "So that's it? Just wipe him clean and leave it at that?" He asked, raising his voice slightly.

Hatori frowned, "It's not an easy decision to make."

'_I couldn't fucking tell.' _Kyo thought.

"Right now, it's the best and only course of action we've got."

"And what about Haru? You're just gonna, what, hold him down?" He argued, getting more and more irritated with the idea. The others were probably thinking it was strange that he seemed so against it.

"I really doubt he'd see reason right now."

Unfortunately, they did have a point. It would be the best choice to solve the problem. It would be like a hard reset. They'd just wipe his memories of the incident clean and he'd wake up with a little bit of amnesia and maybe a headache.

But something about it bothered him to no end. Knowing he'd be facing the person he'd been spending more time with than almost anyone for the past month, who didn't even remember the things that had drove him into such a deep hole. He'd be ignorant, walking around carefree while everyone else watched him, knowing what he'd gone through.

Hatori of _all_ people should know the conflict of this kind of situation, because of his own past.

But it just meant that Haru wouldn't have to live with the pain of betrayal and heartbreak.. He wouldn't have to harbor so much anger and contempt. Or remember his own transgressions or the things that had been said that drove him even lower. So why did this bother him so much? If given the choice, would Haru choose to forget of his own volition?

Maybe because he was being selfish?

"He wouldn't be himself anymore." He told them indignantly.

"He isn't himself _now_."

Kyo clenched his fists and wanted to argue.

He wanted to yell _'What would you know about it?'_

Black. White. They were still the same person in the end. Haru was Haru.

"Whatever, this is bullshit." Kyo growled, turning his back to the room with the intent of stalking off. His expression showed one of surprise, however, when he turned only to see the very subject of their discussion. The ox's back was to him, it seemed as if he were walking away.

How long had he been there? Did he hear what they'd been saying?

A sinking feeling in his chest made him feel like he'd been caught doing something horribly wrong.

A hand landed on Kyo's shoulder, though he didnt pay it any mind, his shocked eyes still locked on the others back. He felt rooted in place.

"Kyo what is i-" Shigure asked as he poked his head around, his words trailing off as he saw the same thing.

"Haru." Hatori's voice had the white haired teenage pause. His head turned slightly, though he didn't look at any of them.

"Stay the hell away from me." was all he said before he briskly disappeared around the corner, the sound of his heavy booted footsteps making him wants to flinch with every step.

The redhead stared silently at the empty space that had just been filled with the tense line of Haru's back. Somehow, those same words that he'd heard only minutes before in his own mind seemed to reverberate within him as he heard the sound of a door sliding open.

His feet began to move and he went around the corner, eyes darting around to find the other teen. The shoji that lead to the back deck was left open, which sent a cool breeze and the smell of rain through the room.

He stood in the door way looking out into the darkness as the rain fell in large droplets. He could hear movement behind him and a quiet curse.

"We've got to.." Hatori.

"I'll grab my coat." Shigure.

His fingers absently moved to brush the prayer beads on his left hand.

He clenched his jaw and took a calming breath before stepping outside and dropping of the porch. He heard Shigure calling his name, but he ignored him and made a run for it.

Cold water pelted down on him and he was almost instantly soaked as he sprinted to the path that began at the treeline just behind the dogs large house. It was dark and difficult to see in the sheets of rain, however he was slightly relieved when Haru's retreating back came in to view.

He was walking fast, his movements jerky. He may as well have been running.

"Haru!" He called, either the other didn't hear him over the rain, or he wasn't listening.

"Oi!" When he finally got close enough, he did what he had to in order to get the others attention on him. He grabbed Haru's shoulder.

The ox's reaction was instant. He turned around and shoved the redhead as hard as he could, which caused Kyo to stumble backwards a few steps, before turning his back on him again.

Don't let him walk away. That's the only thought that was going through the cats mind. He wasn't thinking. He couldn't see through his own anger.

"Get back here, you jack ass!" He hollered, making another grab for the white haired male. All the other did was pull his arm from his grasp and continue on. He was making a point to ignore him. Refusing to be instigated.

Kyo growled and copied the ox by giving him a shove to his back, which sent him stumbling forward. He tripped, his knees hitting the soft wet ground. The redhead saw his hands curl into fists before he was on his feet again, that heavy gaze landing on him.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" He growled over the sound of pelting rain, levelling him with a hard glare before whirling around to leave him behind again.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kyo barked in return, grabbing his arm _again_. It seemed to be rinse and repeat. The other jerked himself free once again.

"I said back the fuck off!"

"Who the hell would!"

The ox started to take a step and was once again assaulted by the persistant cat.

"You don't even know where you're going!." Kyo hollered at the other, whose shoulders were moving with each quickened breath he took. "Where the hell are you gonna go, huh?!" He asked rhetorically.

"Argh!" Black turned and swung at the other blindly. Kyo didn't even have to try to dodge it. He wasn't even sure that the other actually was actually _trying_. The ox staggered from the action, but was finally facing the redhead.

"-on't know.." Kyo could barely hear the others voice over the sound of pouring rain. He took one cautious step closer. The white haired teen was soaked to the bone, his clothes sticking closely to his body. His usually wild spikes had been completely flattened by the rain, his white bangs falling into his eyes, which were downcast as he bowed his head.

His hands came up, long fingers pushing his bangs away from his forehead before they balled into fists, grasping handfuls of hair. "I don't know what to do." He said.. And his tone seemed hopeless. Empty. His arms dropped lifelessly to his sides as he glanced up, meeting Kyo's gaze with his dark grey ones that were as unsettled as the rain clouds above. He held his gaze for a moment before lowering them again.

"What do I do?.. What do I do?" He mumbled and his voice cracked. It almost seemed as if he were just talking aloud, but finally his eyes flickered to the cats again, red around the rims and looking completely bemused. Like he was lost. Kyo knew that it wasn't just rain water dripping down his face and it actually pained him to see the other making such an expression.

He'd hit the bottom. Even the shielding of his Black persona had chipped away.

"What do I do?" He asked again, dropping down to his knees as if he'd lost the energy or will to hold himself up. It was almost as if he'd just stay there and waste away if someone didn't give him a reason to move. "Kyo.. What do I do?" He asked, looking up at the other.

He didn't know what to tell the other Sohma. Kyo took a step closer to kneel in front of the younger teen, absently placing a hand on his slumped shoulder. His eyes took in everything he saw.. The way Haru's bangs stuck to his forehead as water dripped from his lashes and the almost lifeless look in his eyes.. And he still couldn't muster up any words to say.

He found himself moving, doing the only thing that came to mind. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Haru's. What his reasoning was, he didn't know. As soon as he knelt in front of the other, it was all he could think of doing, therefore he ended up acting on the urge without really thinking.

At first the ox didn't show any reaction to the sudden gesture, not even a slight twitch of surprise. His lips were cold along with the rest of his body. The hand that Kyo had on his shoulder moved up slightly toward the juncture between his shoulder and neck, his thumb brushing against the cool, moistened skin there.

His moved his lips softly against the others, tasting the rain water that had trailed over them previously. After a few seconds, almost as if it had taken time to register the feeling.. He felt Haru's lips move against his, just the slightest of movements.

He pulled back slightly only to brush his lips against the the white haired teenagers again, this time feeling the slight returning pressure of Haru's mouth against his. He continued to slide his mouth over the others, content in the feel of the ox slowly reciprocating.

At this point he hadn't even begun to question his own actions. He nipped at the others lips with his own, felt one of Haru's hands move up and grip the front of his soaking shirt. Felt the other Sohma bring himself a little closer, nipping right back at his mouth and even parting his lips invitingly.

The redhead felt a small shiver go down his spine, and wasn't sure if it was because they were both sitting in the cold rain. It was actually the furthest thing from his mind when Haru shifted again and he felt a hand move up to the nape of his neck and the kiss was taken to a new level.

It seemed to go from slow and almost experimental to something more heated.

Almost desperate.

Haru's lips pressed fervently against his. Then his tongue was brushing his lips, coaxing them apart and skillfully delving into his mouth. The redhead didn't have much experience compared to the other, apparently.. But he held his own. It had almost become a kind of tug-of-war, with the white haired teenager subtley trying to get the upper hand, nipping hungrily at his lips and pushing for more contact with the redhead resisting his advance.

When he felt a hand beginning to explore a little too precisely, his hand grabbed a fist full of black and white hair at the back of the others neck and pulled his head back, drawing a sharp sound from the ox's mouth.

Haru's eyes were lidded, darkened by what could only have been lust. But just taking in his expression and body language, it was obvious that the ox had regained his composure. His lips were slightly parted, but the corners quirked up slightly when their eyes gazes met. His charcoal grey eyes seemed to gleam with appreciation for what he saw.

Kyo scowled at him and released his hold. His whole body was already flushed, but he felt his face get warmer under the others gaze. He pushed himself, uncomfortably, to his feet.

Black Haru didn't make any expected comment, pulling his legs out from under him and allowing himself to fall back on his elbows, tilting his head back with his eyes closed as the rain continued to fall.

Even laying there in the mud, the ox managed to look strangely alluring with his clothes soaking wet and clingly to the contours of his body, his white hair slightly darkened from the water and sticking to his forehead and face. His pale skin was slightly flushed and he hadn't even made an attempt to hide the fact that he had been.. Aroused.

Kyo, who had been irritably trying to ignore the fact that the perverted bastard had been purposely trying to ruffle his feathers for the past month and a half, was probably not going to be able to purge the image from his mind...

* * *

When they arrived back at Shigure's place, both of them were soaked to the bone and dripping, neither Shigure or Hatori had returned yet. Kyo was thankful to finally be out of the rain and was still a bit anxious for it to be done with.

With them both standing there in silence, dripping all over the floor, Yuki stepped through the threshold and laid surprised eyes on them.

"You're back." He stated the obvious, taking a step into the room, toward them. "Shigure called-" He was saying, but just as he did so, Haru shifted slightly at his side. Kyo glanced over just in time to realize that he was looking a little faint and was able to keep him from falling straight on his face when his legs buckled.

Alarmed, Yuki started toward them as Kyo rolled the boy over onto his back, then _POOF!_

There was a cow in the house.

It was probably a mixture of things that had caused the tranformation. What with the mental stress he was dealing with and the weather. It wasn't too long before he transformed back, completely knocked out.

That's how he found himself sitting on his bed, which was occupied by the sleeping cow.

He couldn't really deny it. He just couldn't leave the guy alone.

* * *

**TBC. **


End file.
